10 Most Fun Safety Schools In The United States

Nervous about applying to college because you have shitty grades? Already in college, but looking to transfer with a crappy GPA? Fear not, terrible students, there is a whole world of opportunity out there for you in the form of safety schools.

Safety schools are a lot of fun. Sure, the academics aren’t the best at these colleges, but network with the right people and you’ll be fine after graduation. Don’t stress over your application — most of them only require a meager pulse to qualify for enrollment, but they are more fun than about 90 percent of other colleges across the country.

Here are the 10 most fun safety schools in the U.S.

10. Texas Tech University — Lubbock, Texas

Nicknamed the “Harvard of West Texas” by no one, Texas Tech is a great place to go if you didn’t apply to vocational school in time. Sure, Lubbock is a terrible town far away from civilization, but there is something peaceful about isolation.

Schools like Texas Tech aren’t going to rigorously tear you down with a mess of academia, so life after class is actually pretty sweet. There are some cool little bars in downtown Lubbock, and the limited coursework makes it all the more appealing to drink yourself into a coma every night of the week. Sports are a big deal at Tech, too, and even though they aren’t any good, it’s fun to watch them beat up on the schools you didn’t get into so you can brag to your smarter friends about how Tech is better than their college.

Tech is also a great place to network with some of the most world’s most powerful millionaire(‘s shithead kids). If you’re lucky enough, someone’s dad will hire you right out of school.

  1. NattyFratshaw

    Every time I see you post an article I just go straight to the comments to reassure myself of how much you suck.

    9 years ago at 12:15 pm
    1. Butthead

      Being sure in your beliefs and not having to be reassured you are right. RFM

      9 years ago at 5:49 pm
    1. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

      No, Alabama was in there, or did you mean Arkansas? If you’re not talking to someone in the same state, you can’t just say “U of _” and assume everybody gets it.

      9 years ago at 1:10 pm
      1. PAraider1856

        I’m assuming he means the University of Arizona. I mean, his fucking name is zona_frat.

        9 years ago at 3:04 pm
      1. Bush Light

        Sounds like he’d be a great fit at Alabama too. Jesus Christ that was bad.

        9 years ago at 3:31 pm
  2. ThePatternIsFull

    The only reason they have the steak dinners to teach manners at HPU is because all the northerners have no idea how to act respectful and responsibly. Plus, HPU is in the middle of High Point, which is one of the top 5 most unsafe cities in the state of North Carolina.

    9 years ago at 1:15 pm
  3. Frank Lyman from Amherst

    A guy who writes like he flunked out of a community college critiquing certain universities as “safety schools” is cute. Fuck you, Steve.

    9 years ago at 1:18 pm
  4. Jack Blackout

    This article reassures me that I made the right decision in picking the University of Phoenix.

    9 years ago at 4:20 pm
  5. Robert F. Kennedy

    I want to know how much money High Point University paid to be included on this list. Where is the journalistic integrity, Steve?

    9 years ago at 6:35 pm