10 Most Fun Safety Schools In The United States

Nervous about applying to college because you have shitty grades? Already in college, but looking to transfer with a crappy GPA? Fear not, terrible students, there is a whole world of opportunity out there for you in the form of safety schools.

Safety schools are a lot of fun. Sure, the academics aren’t the best at these colleges, but network with the right people and you’ll be fine after graduation. Don’t stress over your application — most of them only require a meager pulse to qualify for enrollment, but they are more fun than about 90 percent of other colleges across the country.

Here are the 10 most fun safety schools in the U.S.

10. Texas Tech University — Lubbock, Texas

Nicknamed the “Harvard of West Texas” by no one, Texas Tech is a great place to go if you didn’t apply to vocational school in time. Sure, Lubbock is a terrible town far away from civilization, but there is something peaceful about isolation.

Schools like Texas Tech aren’t going to rigorously tear you down with a mess of academia, so life after class is actually pretty sweet. There are some cool little bars in downtown Lubbock, and the limited coursework makes it all the more appealing to drink yourself into a coma every night of the week. Sports are a big deal at Tech, too, and even though they aren’t any good, it’s fun to watch them beat up on the schools you didn’t get into so you can brag to your smarter friends about how Tech is better than their college.

Tech is also a great place to network with some of the most world’s most powerful millionaire(‘s shithead kids). If you’re lucky enough, someone’s dad will hire you right out of school.

  1. Fratsper

    Boulder will forever have my respect. A beautiful place. Outstanding piece of mind. Happiest place on Earth. Unrivaled scenery. A negativity free environment. Few places like this exist in the world.

    9 years ago at 6:47 pm
  2. hippie dippie

    my safety school was berkeley, as in: i could blend in and be safe whenever the pigs were after me, man. yeaaahhhh!

    9 years ago at 7:07 pm
  3. GreekJarhead

    Steve Holt is what happens when SFPL impregnates his sister and Grandex hires the offspring.

    9 years ago at 10:02 pm
  4. roundrockdonuts

    Damn, you really mailed this in. My retarded cousin could’ve written this shit AND gotten into Ole Miss in about 15 minutes. Go fuck yourself with a cactus, Steve.

    9 years ago at 11:25 pm
  5. CommCollege69

    Boulevard wrote this and the Easiest Colleges to Get Laid At article. It’s time to wake up, people!

    9 years ago at 11:30 pm
  6. Pasty

    “If you buckle down at FSU and study hard, you have pretty much all the same opportunities as a Florida Gator.” Um, no.

    9 years ago at 9:58 am
  7. ColonelRebIsMyMascot

    Fuck you Steve, but I’ll agree with you on this one thing. Don’t expect it to happen again.

    9 years ago at 2:00 pm