14 Of The Funniest, Craziest One Night Stand Stories You’ll Ever Read

SteveHolt10 years ago

One night stands can be great, but you have to prepare yourself for what could be a very awkward encounter the following morning.

Usually, you just have to dish out one of your t-shirts and be done with it. Most girls are pretty cool about not being completely psychotic after a night of sexual thrills. They want out of there as bad as you want them to leave.

It isn’t always that perfect, though. Sometimes you have to deal with the crazies. That was the prompt for this question posed to the internet forum Reddit today, where people from across the world shared their worst one night stand experiences. A few of the answers are hysterical.

Via Reddit:

Hooked up with this super hot chick at a festival, she lived near so she insisted we go back to her house. After an entire morning and almost afternoon of loud crazy sex for hours , I decided to go downstairs for a drink. Turns out she didn’t live alone like she said.
But she lived with her 2 brothers. Both of whom looked like they had been on the juice. I casually had to continue my stroll to the fridge shirtless, then introduce myself. They both jump off the couch and try staunch me, asking who I was and where I was from.
She then came downstairs and introduced me, and then asked them to drive me home. Being the older sister they had to say yes….
Being super far from home I had to oblige to the offer. I got a lift with the brothers of the girl I had just fucked the life out of all night.

I am cringing right now. If my sister did this to me, I’d make her pay for it.

I wake up to him saying “shit!! My dad wasn’t supposed to come home so early” (I had just thought he lived with roommates) He tells me to jump in his closet (I’m fully nude and my clothes are in the living room) I start to argue but he insists and so I get in there and hear them having small talk for almost an hour. I realize I really have to pee, and they just drag on and I’m dancing around. And then the guy I slept with left for work!!!! And I can hear the dad making breakfast and just settling in. I panic, how am I gonna get my clothes…. Fuck my clothes, I’ll use his clothes, so I take the stuff in the closet all I found were shirts. I fucking ran for my life full speed through the house with sex hair and a long shirt to my car. The dad yelled “what the damn hell who are you!!”

I feel like the roles should be reversed here. Wouldn’t a father be proud of his son?

She was actually really cute and she got up to leave so I just said lock the door behind you because super hungover. So finally I make my way out of bed and she had taken all of the food in my house along with my blender like how the fuck did you pull this off?!

If you don’t offer a party favor, you’re doing it wrong. Just ask Derek Jeter. #YeahJeets

Woke up next to a chick with swastikas tattooed on her tits. Never drank gin before that night, and haven’t since.

The notorious Gin Curse. It makes you 10 times more likely to hook up with a Nazi.

She would not leave. I was running a pub at the time and she stayed in the pub all day, from the time we got up until closing at 11pm. By closing time she was pretty drunk, so I managed to put her in a taxi without much fuss.

Clingers can be the absolute worst.

She peed my whole bed with me in it.

Kinky.

She woke up and said she wanted to marry me and have kids.

…And they did and lived happily ever after.

woke up with no memory of each other, then she began screaming about being late to her grandma’s funeral. Dropped her off in a tiny dress not wearing shoes still drunk as fuck in front of her entire extended family.

Grief can make you do a lot of things.

I woke up thinking I’d had a dream that I had sex, roll over and there is a dude in my bed. I sit up and see about 3 used condoms on the floor on my bedroom. I poke him awake and ask him to leave. I didn’t remember his name, or how we even got into that situation. A few hours later he adds me on facebook… he’s in a relationship, she’s in his profile picture. Safe to say I didn’t accept that friendship request and I saw him out the next week and he tried it on again and I just went “You have a girlfriend, fuck off”. I went to a pretty small university and I’d see them walking around with each other, it was so awful. I felt terrible.

What a dumbass.

She left her wallet open, she was not 18. I ran.

Ran to a new town and started a new life.

Hook up with this chick in military town bar. Neglect the fact the soldiers just left that morning. Wake up at her house and see pics of her husband and family. Go to living room and see two kids like 4 and 5 years old. They ask who I am and their mom says I’m their uncle and stopped by for a place to crash. Could never reach out to the soldier, but then again, he had a mean gun rack.

That is one way to honor the troops.

First of all, I don’t remember any of this. After a labor day party this year, I was walking back to my apartment and watching all the snapchats my friends sent me. My one friend, had snapchatted me fucking this girl on a couch in the middle of the party. She was insanely hot so that was fine but it was my worse experience because I don’t remember having sex with the hottest girl I have ever fucked.

Serious question: How many of you have used SnapChat during sex?

Had a fucking crazy one night stand right after HS with a teachers pet girl who I thought always hated me. Was still at my parents place so I snuck her in. In the morning my dad came right on into my room to grab my keys to move my car for whatever reason. I was totally naked, half covered, and the girl was tits up still asleep, uncovered. The look I shared with my dad in that moment was kind of like “good work boy” and “you are in so much trouble”. I had to blanket up and take my keys downstairs where he was waiting. He put a lock on the liquor cabinet after that.

That is one proud dad.

Nothing says good morning like a toddler tugging on the blankets saying “Mommy who is that in your bed?”

Oof.

Think you can top any of these stories? Let us know in the comments..

[via Reddit]

Image via YouTube