Unlucky 19-Year-Old Bama Kid Never Makes It To Spring Break, Arrested With Truckload of Natty And Weed
9 years ago

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The drive to spring break sucks balls. I don’t care if you’re driving 45 minutes or 20 hours — I’d rather take 50,000 volts to the nipples either way. You’ve got to constantly suppress your need for speed as cops from tiny ass towns are posted up, waiting to make their monthly quota at your expense. You’re also usually hauling more illegal shit across state lines than the Escobar family and you don’t want some hero cop sniffing around that. Unfortunately for one University of Alabama student, a case of the speeds ended up with his arrest and a Facebook post on the local sheriff’s Facebook page.

Shoutout Ginny for asking the real questions in the comments section. Negative 100 points for the Okaloosa Sheriff’s Office for pouring out seven cases of Natty Light. Just an absolute waste. Donate it to a food bank or something. There’s sober hobos out there.

From the Trump sticker on the back of the F150 to the case-per-day of Natty Lights, this guy pulls. Sure, he’ll probably be a few hundred dollars in the hole, but it’s a decent story to tell and nothing a little trust fund money can’t fix.

Just another reminder to drive safely on your way to spring break. You could lose your alcohol, weed and fake ID, and isn’t that what’s truly important in life?

Worst part of this? He’s probably going to have to drive back to Florida for that court date, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Quick, someone buy this guy a beer. He’s gonna need it.

Image via Facebook

      1. Fratty McFratFrat

        Ya know, Elvis did other things that you could integrate into your schtik. He once flew to Denver just to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He shot a television just because David Niven was on it. He bought people Cadillacs. He was in the Army. You need to workshop some new material.

        9 years ago at 3:21 am