20 Places I’d Rather Get Married Than At A Macklemore Grammy Performance
In a bizarre, but very Hollywood-esque stunt, 33 couples decided to get married during Macklemore’s rendition of “Same Love” at the Grammy Awards last night. Macklemore, Hollywood’s self-appointed social justice revolutionary (he thought he was gay in third grade because he was good at drawing), invited the couples to exchange rings and vows on camera after he finished the performance. The couples, both gay and straight, were married by Queen Latifah, who is apparently qualified to do such a thing in the state of California. It was all very contrived and trivialized Hollywood. Here is a description from Entertainment Weekly, as well as a video of the production.
It was a nice demonstration of the song’s marriage-equality themes. Playing the role of officiant, Latifah asked the couples to exchange their rings. She declared them all spouses. The newlyweds flocked down the aisle. And it was at that particular moment that freaking Madonna walked onstage, joining everyone in a “Same Love” singalong. It was an emotional moment, is what I’m getting at.
Suffocating on secondhand smoke inside of a casino in Shreveport, Louisiana.
On Captain Phillips’ ship while it was being commandeered by Somali pirates.
During halftime at the WNBA Finals.
Prison (men’s or women’s).
On Bourbon Street in New Orleans hours after Hurricane Katrina.
Jimmy Carter’s beach house.
Our fraternity basement the night after probation ended.
The recently demilitarized zones surrounding Kabul, Afghanistan.
Standing on the back of JFK’s open limo as it turned down Elm Street.
Siberia.
Jerry Jones owner’s box during a Cowboys game in December.
The Bin Laden family Pakistani compound.
Inside one of Nike’s Chinese sweatshops after they received an urgent order from the University of Oregon.
At Justin Bieber’s state-mandated therapy sessions/treatments.
Running low on oxygen inside the Russian Space Station.
The Penn State football complex.
At Joshua Tree National Park with Steve Jobs 45 minutes after taking LSD.
Inside Quentin Tarantino’s imagination.
Jordan Belfort’s yacht sailing from Monaco to Switzerland.
The Democratic National Convention.
Like I said, the list is infinite, but that’s because there is literally nothing worse than getting married at a freaking Macklemore concert.
I took comfort in the fact that most of the country artists were probably sitting there thinking “what in the fuck” during that gay shit.
12 years ago at 2:04 pmi think one of the best reactions about the grammy’s was from A.J. McCarron about Katie Perry
12 years ago at 3:24 pmWhat else would you expect from the land of fruits and nuts?
12 years ago at 2:08 pmAs much as I love this great nation, people like this and the many that support it make me worry for the future. Glad I didn’t watch last night.
12 years ago at 2:10 pm21. Microsoft Word tutorial about creating “numbered” lists.
12 years ago at 2:12 pm*respectfully clicks take a lap*
12 years ago at 2:13 pmTV trying to convince everyone being gay is just as normal as being straight. Typical.
12 years ago at 2:15 pmJordan Belfort’s yacht didn’t have sails
12 years ago at 2:19 pm“Literally nothing worse than getting married at a freaking Mackelmore concert.” Let’s see: Anything written by SFPL, SFPL’s mullet, apartheid, anything written or performed by Justin Bieber, IFC, University Board, SAG, self righteous geeds, the amount of dick pics OscarBluthTFM apparently gets, the list goes on.
12 years ago at 2:21 pmYou’re a farm house you probably love maclemore
12 years ago at 3:09 pm21. Pike
12 years ago at 2:24 pmI’m offensive and I find this gay.
12 years ago at 2:30 pmSwitzerland is land locked they were sailing from Venice to Monaco, from there they could drive to Switzerland.
12 years ago at 2:44 pm