2013 Wife Mock Draft: Second Edition

TheChampionsTour12 years ago

Brooke Callaway

School: University of Missouri
Hometown: Chesterfield, Missouri
House: Top-tier
Major: Dietetics
GPA: 3.9
Hair color: Dark brown
Height: 5′ 9″
Weight: 133 lbs.

Pros:

– Mizzou Golden Girl.
– Follows @DadBoner on Twitter.
– Legs for days.
– Dad is a minority owner of the St. Louis Blues.
– Hasn’t eaten a carb since 2009.
– Teaches a “stripperobics” class at the rec center.
– Raised $30,000 for breast cancer research by holding a 24-hour bikini car wash by herself.
– Body reminds us of Brooke Burke circa 2003.

Cons:

– Dated a male cheerleader for three semesters.
– Can’t handle her liquor. Three rum and diets and she’s done.

Projected: Top 5

Outlook: She’s a rock-solid SEC talent who could rival any prospect south of the Mason-Dixon Line. As a dietetics major, she’s vowed to take care of her body for her entire life. She’ll be a nine until she’s 40 and then probably begin a slow descent towards looking like Sally Field until the day she dies. Don’t let her lightweightedness bother you, she doesn’t drink all that much and can handle being around drunk people. Her dating past is sketchy, but has really upped her standards in her final two years on campus.