2013 Wife Mock Draft: Second Edition
Riley Welch
School: University of Oklahoma
Hometown: Bixby, Oklahoma
House: Top-tier
Major: Broadcast Journalism
GPA: 3.1
Hair color: Blonde
Height: 5′ 8″
Weight: 130 lbs.
Pros:
– Just got hired as the sideline reporter for Fox Sports Oklahoma. She’ll be in the public eye a lot and everyone’s gonna want to know who’s banging her.
– Gym rat. Works out five days a week.
– Barry Switzer stared at her body for the entire length of a sideline interview during Bedlam in 2011.
– Could very well be the next Samantha Ponder.
– A classic beauty. Never had plastic surgery.
Cons:
– Just broke up with her boyfriend of six years. Extremely vulnerable. Might have to wait this one out and see where it goes.
– Instagram account is only pictures of lattes and selfies.
– Career could have her on the move every few years. With looks like hers, she’ll be in New York or LA in five years.
– Rumors that she’s a closet Texas Longhorns fan despite graduating from OU. Raises red flags about loyalty.
Projected: Mid-1st Round
Outlook: She’s a babe. Total babe. Humble, yet confident and charming. Could turn out to be America’s next sideline beauty, joining the ranks of Erin Andrews, Allie LaForce and Ponder. She’ll be on the road a lot, so there’ll be plenty of downtime for any suitor to be with the boys. Fringe benefits galore on this one. Only setback is the ex-boyfriend might still be in the picture. Still worth the risk.
This is my second favorite type of column. But with fail Friday sucking it up recently it’s slowly moving up
12 years ago at 1:56 pmDoesn’t want kids until 30 = Pro
12 years ago at 2:11 pmSo many butts so little pee
12 years ago at 7:26 pmmy future wife hasn’t been born yet
12 years ago at 8:51 pm^this guy is obviously the shit^
12 years ago at 9:56 pmWho the fuck in Iowa only owns 30 acres?
12 years ago at 6:22 pm