2013 Wife Mock Draft
Britney Johannsen
School: UNLV
House: Top-tier overall
Major: Education
GPA: 2.8
Hair color: Blonde
Height: 6-0
Weight: 130 lbs
Pros:
-Scandinavian blood. Looks like a Viking warrior princess.
-Sexual sorceress.
-Slender, long body, with major league chesties.
-Elin Nordegren-type ceiling.
-Has Scott Disick’s phone number.
Cons:
-Has Scott Disick’s phone number.
-Most of her family is still overseas, and she visits them during the holidays.
-Still has not adapted to American fraternity culture, may not be committed to the lifestyle.
-Well-known in Vegas nightlife as “Brit-faced”.
-Has hired an agent and is considering moving to LA.
-Owns 16 different Juicy Couture sweatsuits.
Projection: Early 2nd round
Outlook: Buyer beware. She’s a free spirit that may have a propensity to just up and disappear on you. Hollywood aspirations that could very well end up with her landing in the adult film industry. Her stock has been up and down lately, but if the right suitor gets his hands on her, she will be a solid pickup.
Picking all of them. TMormonM.
12 years ago at 12:01 pmthanks for the laugh
12 years ago at 3:07 pmPicking one you’ve never met. TMormonM.
12 years ago at 3:36 pmthats not casey stadler
12 years ago at 4:43 pmCame for the picture, then came from the pictures
12 years ago at 12:02 pmcan we make this the new sweethearts?
12 years ago at 3:07 pmI like a little crazy. I’ll bite.
12 years ago at 12:03 pmBrilliant.
12 years ago at 12:04 pmWho did the pledge prospects column awhile back? Was that ChampsTour also?
12 years ago at 9:55 pmNope, it was Dorn.
12 years ago at 10:00 pm^, ^^
12 years ago at 10:18 amYou could of saved a lot of time writing and just posted the pictures of tits.
12 years ago at 12:04 pmWhy that doesn’t work:
“-Huge boobs.
Cons:
-Gained about 20 pounds since she was a freshman.”
12 years ago at 12:07 pm^^ You could have paid attention in English class.
12 years ago at 12:10 pmAnd the zinger from Dorn.
12 years ago at 5:25 pm^
12 years ago at 9:37 pmSEC Educated, zero fucks given.
12 years ago at 6:58 pmLetting you all marry them and being the guy she cheats with TFM
12 years ago at 12:05 pmSerious potential in Casey Stadler. The nutrition science major is an incredibly underrated plus for her. Don’t see the high risk and look at that ass. I take a flyer late first on her.
12 years ago at 12:09 pmI find it hilarious that I know “Casey Stadler.” Only thing they got right is the killer body.
12 years ago at 3:15 pmhahahaha thanks i feel totally catfished right now!
12 years ago at 4:42 pm^^Why is the rest even relevant? Let’s bump her up to mid-first.
12 years ago at 6:43 pmHappy Birthday “Casey Stadler!”
12 years ago at 12:47 amThis column gave me cancer.
12 years ago at 12:17 pm^ I’m remarkably not sorry to hear that.
12 years ago at 1:54 pmdeng bro u hardd
12 years ago at 3:23 pm^I think you’re in high school.
12 years ago at 11:33 amBest column I’ve seen on here in a while.
12 years ago at 12:21 pmand you guys had better do a fucking draft now.
12 years ago at 12:22 pm