2013 Wife Mock Draft

Britney Johannsen

draft

School: UNLV
House: Top-tier overall
Major: Education
GPA: 2.8
Hair color: Blonde
Height: 6-0
Weight: 130 lbs

Pros:

-Scandinavian blood. Looks like a Viking warrior princess.
-Sexual sorceress.
-Slender, long body, with major league chesties.
-Elin Nordegren-type ceiling.
-Has Scott Disick’s phone number.

Cons:

-Has Scott Disick’s phone number.
-Most of her family is still overseas, and she visits them during the holidays.
-Still has not adapted to American fraternity culture, may not be committed to the lifestyle.
-Well-known in Vegas nightlife as “Brit-faced”.
-Has hired an agent and is considering moving to LA.
-Owns 16 different Juicy Couture sweatsuits.

Projection: Early 2nd round

Outlook: Buyer beware. She’s a free spirit that may have a propensity to just up and disappear on you. Hollywood aspirations that could very well end up with her landing in the adult film industry. Her stock has been up and down lately, but if the right suitor gets his hands on her, she will be a solid pickup.

    1. Douglas MacArthur

      Who did the pledge prospects column awhile back? Was that ChampsTour also?

      12 years ago at 9:55 pm
  1. Pee Buttermore

    You could of saved a lot of time writing and just posted the pictures of tits.

    12 years ago at 12:04 pm
    1. FrattKuchar

      Why that doesn’t work:

      “-Huge boobs.

      Cons:

      -Gained about 20 pounds since she was a freshman.”

      12 years ago at 12:07 pm
  2. BrovWade

    Serious potential in Casey Stadler. The nutrition science major is an incredibly underrated plus for her. Don’t see the high risk and look at that ass. I take a flyer late first on her.

    12 years ago at 12:09 pm
    1. OhSoCorporate

      I find it hilarious that I know “Casey Stadler.” Only thing they got right is the killer body.

      12 years ago at 3:15 pm