2013 Wife Mock Draft

Hannah Weinberg

draft

School: University of Maryland
House: Top-tier smart house
Major: Business Administration
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-6
Weight: 119 lbs.

Pros:

-Highly regarded in Panhellic community, held exec positions for two years.
-Been called a “tomcat” by several ex-boyfriends.
-Runway model legs.
-Comes from money. Father owns houses in Breckenridge, Captiva Island and Scottsdale.
-Strong character, high integrity. Has never cheated on a boyfriend, even in high school.

Cons:

-Career-first woman. May not be a “team player” when it comes to child-bearing.
-Her father demands her spouse also be Jewish. Conversion may be in the cards.
-Considering business school in London.

Projected: Late 1st/Early 2nd

Outlook: Could prove to be good value, considering. Potential cornerstone piece for any partner. Medium bust potential, divorce could be a factor. Possible fall-back option in free agency once first round of divorcees hit the open market next decade.

    1. FraturdayNightFever

      In a slampiece it’s a great thing. Girls with daddy issues are easy to pick up and wild in bed. In a long-term relationship it’s just annoying, and a relationship that starts because you gave her six shots of Burnett’s and she was suddenly game for anything is not one that’s built to last.

      12 years ago at 3:41 pm