2013 Wife Mock Draft

Hannah Weinberg

draft

School: University of Maryland
House: Top-tier smart house
Major: Business Administration
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-6
Weight: 119 lbs.

Pros:

-Highly regarded in Panhellic community, held exec positions for two years.
-Been called a “tomcat” by several ex-boyfriends.
-Runway model legs.
-Comes from money. Father owns houses in Breckenridge, Captiva Island and Scottsdale.
-Strong character, high integrity. Has never cheated on a boyfriend, even in high school.

Cons:

-Career-first woman. May not be a “team player” when it comes to child-bearing.
-Her father demands her spouse also be Jewish. Conversion may be in the cards.
-Considering business school in London.

Projected: Late 1st/Early 2nd

Outlook: Could prove to be good value, considering. Potential cornerstone piece for any partner. Medium bust potential, divorce could be a factor. Possible fall-back option in free agency once first round of divorcees hit the open market next decade.

  1. Judge

    “Favorite artists are Phil Collins, Hall & Oates, Frank Sinatra and Billy Joel.” I can go for that.

    12 years ago at 3:09 pm
  2. Top_Gun

    This was entertaining. Bonus points awarded. Now we need a draft day video with Kate Upton, Jessica Alba, and Katherine Webb as anchors.

    12 years ago at 3:19 pm
    1. Born Wearing Sperrys

      Also, I don’t know if I could deal with Allison Bonnett’s bad breath in the morning.

      12 years ago at 3:36 pm
    2. NativeFloridaCracker

      ^^ when the fuck did you make active? You don’t have time for this shit.

      12 years ago at 4:56 am
    3. Born Wearing Sperrys

      Just saw your comment NFC, because I am so busy. I became an active in a matter of two days of working hard and making efficient use of my time. Now when the hell are we gonna do some more blow?

      12 years ago at 4:03 pm
  3. FraturdayNightFever

    Could have just used to picture of “Allison Bonnett” to justify the first overall pick.

    12 years ago at 3:45 pm