2013 Wife Mock Draft

Hannah Weinberg

draft

School: University of Maryland
House: Top-tier smart house
Major: Business Administration
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-6
Weight: 119 lbs.

Pros:

-Highly regarded in Panhellic community, held exec positions for two years.
-Been called a “tomcat” by several ex-boyfriends.
-Runway model legs.
-Comes from money. Father owns houses in Breckenridge, Captiva Island and Scottsdale.
-Strong character, high integrity. Has never cheated on a boyfriend, even in high school.

Cons:

-Career-first woman. May not be a “team player” when it comes to child-bearing.
-Her father demands her spouse also be Jewish. Conversion may be in the cards.
-Considering business school in London.

Projected: Late 1st/Early 2nd

Outlook: Could prove to be good value, considering. Potential cornerstone piece for any partner. Medium bust potential, divorce could be a factor. Possible fall-back option in free agency once first round of divorcees hit the open market next decade.

  1. 830ResAtDorsia

    A good personality consists of a chick with a little hardbody, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and will essentially keep her dumb fucking mouth shut

    12 years ago at 3:55 pm
  2. 1845

    Anyone who doesn’t view the 200 pound mother as an irreversible deal breaker needs to seriously reconsider their evaluation process. The mother is the most important factor when prospecting a wife.

    12 years ago at 12:06 pm
  3. brophecy foretold

    I’m going to be honest here. I didn’t read any of this article, I just skimmed through the pics to see if they were bangable. They all are. 9 seems the hottest. That is all.

    12 years ago at 3:51 pm
  4. FratternoonDelight

    I’ll go Stadler in the 2nd. I’m thinking Drew Brees-esque ceiling. Worth the risk.

    12 years ago at 6:39 pm