2014 Wife Mock Draft

Rudy Coates

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School: University of West Virginia
Hometown: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
House: Middle-tier
Major: Engineering
GPA: 2.7
Hair color: Dirty blonde
Height: 5′3”
Weight: 131 lbs.

Pros:
– Just a really fun gal. With a name like “Rudy Coates,” there’s a lot of pressure to be fun. She’s embraced it and it’s going to get her far.
– Loves fishing, baseball and homemade fireworks.
– Built like an oil can, but she makes up for it with a killer set of chest hammers.
– It’s a cliché usually associated with lesser talent, but she really does have a great personality.

Cons:
– Reportedly cheered for Sidney Crosby and Canada over the United States in the 2010 Olympic hockey final.
– A B- student, but we’ll give her a break considering she’s an engineering major.
– A lot of high-placed sources seem to think she’ll burn out early. 3-5 years of solid value and then a steep drop off.

Projected: 4th Round

Outlook: Coates has been on people’s radar for a long time. She’d be a top talent coming out this year if the physical tools were there, but unfortunately for her, they just aren’t. She’s still going to be a great option in the mid-rounds and will likely have more staying power to similar talent. Good value here.

  1. aa1245

    This is wrong because everyone knows that Bacon is going to pick me in the first round.

    11 years ago at 5:43 pm
  2. OMFratRebel

    This is the worst mock draft so far. You should go ahead and do a mock draft of witness protection members with blacked out faces. That’s about as much as we’re seeing from these girls.

    11 years ago at 6:00 pm
  3. Natty Enthusiast

    it might be hard to look past the fact that king is a gdi, but its even harder to look past that ass

    11 years ago at 6:09 pm
    1. You’re retarded, in a matter of fact the Wife Mock Draft is probably the best thing that happened to this website.

      11 years ago at 7:15 pm
      1. Costa Vision

        Stay at home mother is a job in my book. An important one too. It is hard to start a political dynasty without a good conservative, Catholic wife raising my future US Senators.

        11 years ago at 1:09 pm
  4. Douglas MacArthur

    Fun fact, the hair loss gene is mostly inherited from the mother, so your dad’s head gives little indication on the future of your mane. If your uncles or great uncles on your mom’s side are bald, then you should be worried.

    11 years ago at 6:32 pm