2014 Wife Mock Draft

Christina Mannsfeld

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School: University of Texas
Hometown: Austin, Texas
House: Top-tier Smart House
Major: Veterinary Sciences
GPA: 3.4
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5’4”
Weight: 142 lbs.

Pros:
– Rich. As. Fuck.
– Comes from old, old southern money. Family has letters from Robert E. Lee framed in their house.
– Loves animals, but still goes hunting.
– Her family is currently in talks to buy a minority stake of the Texas Rangers.

Cons:
– She ain’t exactly a stunner. There’s enough to work with, though.
– Her sexual résumé includes three GDIs, a guy with a “Texas Democrat” bumper sticker, and an editor of the independent student newspaper.
– Has trouble staying healthy. Gets sick a lot, and not sick like normal people. She had a nickel-sized boil removed from her neck two months ago.

Projected: 4th/5th round

Outlook: If you’re willing to sacrifice, you’ll be living large off her inheritance for the rest of your life. You have to take the good with the bad in this case. If Mannsfield hits the gym hard, she’s going to have a lot of folks wondering why they passed her up.

  1. aa1245

    This is wrong because everyone knows that Bacon is going to pick me in the first round.

    11 years ago at 5:43 pm
  2. OMFratRebel

    This is the worst mock draft so far. You should go ahead and do a mock draft of witness protection members with blacked out faces. That’s about as much as we’re seeing from these girls.

    11 years ago at 6:00 pm
  3. Natty Enthusiast

    it might be hard to look past the fact that king is a gdi, but its even harder to look past that ass

    11 years ago at 6:09 pm
    1. You’re retarded, in a matter of fact the Wife Mock Draft is probably the best thing that happened to this website.

      11 years ago at 7:15 pm
      1. Costa Vision

        Stay at home mother is a job in my book. An important one too. It is hard to start a political dynasty without a good conservative, Catholic wife raising my future US Senators.

        11 years ago at 1:09 pm
  4. Douglas MacArthur

    Fun fact, the hair loss gene is mostly inherited from the mother, so your dad’s head gives little indication on the future of your mane. If your uncles or great uncles on your mom’s side are bald, then you should be worried.

    11 years ago at 6:32 pm