2014 Wife Mock Draft
Liz Goodman
School: University of South Carolina
Hometown: Greenville, South Carolina
House: Top-tier
Major: Education
GPA: 2.3
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5’4
Weight: 165 lbs.
Pros:
– She comes from one of the best houses in the SEC.
– Rich. Gets a brand new Jeep Wrangler for her birthday every year.
– Large group of friends.
– Sexually adventurous.
Cons:
– Her nickname around campus is “Fat Liz.”
– She got into her sorority because she got mixed up with a way hotter girl also named Liz Goodman during recruitment, who actually transferred after not getting a bid. Hot Liz transferred to Florida State and got a bid from the world famous FSU DG chapter.
– Her house tried to deactivate her several times on the account that she’s a total wildebeest, but when Fat Liz caught wind, she threatened legal suit.
Projected: 7th round/Undrafted
Outlook: Someone is going to be dumb enough to take her simply because of her family name. When you’re competing at this level, you can’t skate by on name alone and Fat Liz simply cannot afford to do that. Divorce and/or a life of misery is in store for whomever decides to wife this girl.
This is wrong because everyone knows that Bacon is going to pick me in the first round.
11 years ago at 5:43 pmThis is the worst mock draft so far. You should go ahead and do a mock draft of witness protection members with blacked out faces. That’s about as much as we’re seeing from these girls.
11 years ago at 6:00 pmit might be hard to look past the fact that king is a gdi, but its even harder to look past that ass
11 years ago at 6:09 pmI just don’t see how that picture gets used on a 3rd rounder.
11 years ago at 6:45 pmThe real owner of that ass is a charter boat captain down here in SWFL.
11 years ago at 7:32 pmCon for #2: Your back will look like you had sex with a tiger.
11 years ago at 6:10 pmNina brown is most definitely a lesbian
11 years ago at 6:12 pmThis mock draft sucks ass
11 years ago at 6:27 pmYou’re retarded, in a matter of fact the Wife Mock Draft is probably the best thing that happened to this website.
11 years ago at 7:15 pmWhy does it list their GPA’s. Who gives a shit?
11 years ago at 6:30 pmIts not like they are gonna work if they marry us anyhow, right?
11 years ago at 7:12 pmStay at home mother is a job in my book. An important one too. It is hard to start a political dynasty without a good conservative, Catholic wife raising my future US Senators.
11 years ago at 1:09 pmFun fact, the hair loss gene is mostly inherited from the mother, so your dad’s head gives little indication on the future of your mane. If your uncles or great uncles on your mom’s side are bald, then you should be worried.
11 years ago at 6:32 pmMy God this is amazing
11 years ago at 7:06 pmThese are funny every time
11 years ago at 7:08 pm