2014 Wife Mock Draft
11 years ago

Sarah King

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School: University of Central Florida
Hometown: Fort Myers, Florida
House: Unaffiliated
Major: Pre-Med
GPA: 3.2
Hair color: Blonde
Height: 5’6
Weight: 118 lbs.

Pros:
– Best friend of former UCF QB Blake Bortles’ girlfriend, Lindsey Duke.
– Duke has put her into contact with the doctor that did her breast enhancement.
– Family owns a six-bedroom house in the Florida Keys.
– Captain of the UCF tennis team. Long, lean, athletic build. Perfect mate for anyone who wants to breed Olympic-caliber children.
– For a GDI, she’s a really great gal.

Cons:
– She’s still a GDI. Tough to look past.
– Rumors that she almost broke up Andy Roddick’s marriage to Brooklyn Decker. There are also rumors that she had a three-way with Roddick and Decker. If the latter is true, God, that’s so hot and this con turns into a pro. Maybe she has pics?
– Her favorite sports teams include the New England Patriots, New York Yankees and Los Angeles Lakers.
– Hates college football.

Projected: 3rd Round

Outlook: If she had four years of sorority seasoning and refinement under her belt, King would be a surefire first rounder. As it stands now, she’s very raw. There’s still plenty to get excited about, especially with her offseason plans to get a boob job. That might be enough to shoot her up into the first round, which would set a precedent for GDIs, but we’ll have to see what the doctors say after surgery.

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  2. aa1245

    This is wrong because everyone knows that Bacon is going to pick me in the first round.

    11 years ago at 5:43 pm
  3. OMFratRebel

    This is the worst mock draft so far. You should go ahead and do a mock draft of witness protection members with blacked out faces. That’s about as much as we’re seeing from these girls.

    11 years ago at 6:00 pm
  4. Natty Enthusiast

    it might be hard to look past the fact that king is a gdi, but its even harder to look past that ass

    11 years ago at 6:09 pm

    1. You’re retarded, in a matter of fact the Wife Mock Draft is probably the best thing that happened to this website.

      11 years ago at 7:15 pm
      1. Costa Vision

        Stay at home mother is a job in my book. An important one too. It is hard to start a political dynasty without a good conservative, Catholic wife raising my future US Senators.

        11 years ago at 1:09 pm
  9. Douglas MacArthur

    Fun fact, the hair loss gene is mostly inherited from the mother, so your dad’s head gives little indication on the future of your mane. If your uncles or great uncles on your mom’s side are bald, then you should be worried.

    11 years ago at 6:32 pm