2014 Wife Mock Draft

Meghan Hess

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School: Penn State
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
House: Middle-tier Athletes
Major: Nutrition &; Fitness Science
GPA: 2.9
Hair color: Platinum Blonde
Height: 5’9
Weight: 140 lbs.

Pros:
– Daughter of Raye Hollitt AKA “Zap” from American Gladiators, who was the hottest of all the chick gladiators.
– Health major. She’s got staying power. Career longevity won’t be an issue.
– A physical specimen. Toned up.
– Her body is like her mom’s, pre-roids.

Cons:
– A distinct possibility she will be stronger than you.
– Sincere interest in becoming a female body builder.
– Man hands.
– Doesn’t like giving blowjobs. Doesn’t hate them, either, but she’s just not wild about putting it in the mouth, even after a nice seafood dinner.

Projected: 4th Round

Outlook: The key here is to get Hess into a regimented and structured program that will keep her out of the gym and get her to stay as a normal-sized woman. If she isn’t properly motivated, you’re going to have a wife that can out-bench you by 100 pounds.

  1. aa1245

    This is wrong because everyone knows that Bacon is going to pick me in the first round.

    11 years ago at 5:43 pm
  2. OMFratRebel

    This is the worst mock draft so far. You should go ahead and do a mock draft of witness protection members with blacked out faces. That’s about as much as we’re seeing from these girls.

    11 years ago at 6:00 pm
  3. Natty Enthusiast

    it might be hard to look past the fact that king is a gdi, but its even harder to look past that ass

    11 years ago at 6:09 pm
    1. You’re retarded, in a matter of fact the Wife Mock Draft is probably the best thing that happened to this website.

      11 years ago at 7:15 pm
      1. Costa Vision

        Stay at home mother is a job in my book. An important one too. It is hard to start a political dynasty without a good conservative, Catholic wife raising my future US Senators.

        11 years ago at 1:09 pm
  4. Douglas MacArthur

    Fun fact, the hair loss gene is mostly inherited from the mother, so your dad’s head gives little indication on the future of your mane. If your uncles or great uncles on your mom’s side are bald, then you should be worried.

    11 years ago at 6:32 pm