2015 Wife Mock Draft

TheChampionsTour10 years ago

Courtney Kim

School: Texas A&M
Hometown: San Antonio, TX
House: Bottom-tier
Major: Organic Chemistry
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Black
Height: 5′8
Weight: 127 lbs.
Cup size: D (fake, incredible cleavage)

Pros:
– Asian. Nice.
– Legs like a thoroughbred.
– Crazy smart. I’m not just saying this because she is of…eastern descent. It’s because she’s really fucking smart. She had a 4.8 in high school. Didn’t even know that was a thing.
– Immaculate fake tits. Reportedly had them done in Dallas, so you know she’s serious about her rack.
– Speaks four languages: English, Cantonese, Thai, French. I don’t care what you say, that’s hot.

Cons:
– Pretty snobby. Been described as a “cold-hearted bitch” on several occasions.
– Attending grad school in Hong Kong.
– Allegedly hates white people. Trying to confirm.
– Lacking in the personality category. Worst case of resting bitch face we’ve seen since Kourtney Kardashian came out of Arizona in ‘02.

Projected: Mid third round

Outlook: She was passed over in recruitment for basically being too huge of a bitch, which landed her in a bottom-tier house. She deactivated after two years to “focus on school,” but it was really because she got along with exactly no one in her house. If you can somehow get this girl to sleep with you, she will be a decent enough life partner until the two of you procreate and she inevitably hates your children. Whatever. We’re a generation raised by nannies. On the fence here.