2016 College Football Week 1 Recap: Let It Rip

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You just put in a 14-hour day crushing countless Natty Lights on an empty stomach, asserted dominance over any fool that went even remotely close to the ladderball setup, and shamelessly finger blasted your pledge brother’s 18-year-old sister under the sign-in table. Needless to say, you had your hands full, so you undoubtedly missed what went down throughout the rest of the country.

No worries, guys. That’s what I’m here for: to spend Saturdays watching college football. Your thanks is not necessary, as I’m not in this line of work for the praise. I make the sacrifice of planting my ass firmly on the couch so people like you don’t have to — so you can go out and live the tailgate life the way tailgate life was meant to be lived.

We’re back for another college football season. Finally. Let’s set the tone for the weekly recap from the get-go.

“Let it fucking rip, man.” If we haven’t already printed the shirts for RG or TFM Tilt, we’re just throwing away free money. This is our mantra. This is our battle cry. This is our [Buzzfeed’s] everything. I’m claiming it from the rest of the Internet solely based off our proximity to where these words were said. We’re letting it rip.

Someone over in marketing must have heard me.

Week 1

“The best opening week slate of games ever.” I think that line was dropped once or twice on a telecast at some point this weekend, but from a surprising overtime thriller on Thursday to a 22-point comeback Monday Night, it certainly lived up to the billing. And we came out of the gates firing on all cylinders.

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What did I tell you, Knoxville? Butch had it under control the entire time. “Experts'” sexy pick to win the SEC East and dark horse national championship contender survives against a team that couldn’t throw the ball more than five yards in the air.

Our Colorado Buffs move to 1-0

Weekly reminder that Christian McCaffrey is a video game come to life.

My school won for the first time in what seems like a century.

Scott Frost saved his bag of tricks for Ann Arbor. We’re coming for that ass, Michigan.

Speaking of which…

Harbaugh is still a complete lovable lunatic.

Stingray Steve is a stronger man than most.

Houston kicks down the door to get into the Big 12

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I put the mush on friend of the site, Josh Rosen.

Meanwhile Texas A&M players are just popping knees back into place.

Just assume Alabama’s going to win the SEC every year.

Musberger is the best in the business.

Kirby Smart era in Athens starts with a bang.

Charlie Strong and the boys let it fucking rip

Jimbo did it again.

First half:

Second half:

TFM will be partying before every Texas home game this season. Thanks to our friends at Tailgate Guys we’ve got a prime spot on the LBJ Library Lawn just a few steps away from the stadium. Big props to Verts for supplying the food this week and Mighty Swell for some tasty beverages.

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TFM Tailgate

If you’re in the market for a college football podcast that fucks, listen to Back Door Cover, our latest podcast for people who get weird and gamble. Subscribe here and listen below.

  1. Broties n Boatshoes

    How big is the sink hole on your couch cushion that you “firmly plant your ass on” every weekend, Dan?

    8 years ago at 12:30 pm
  2. InternationalFratStudent

    Please leave the sports articles for siblings. That way I don’t have to read about that bullshit school UCF

    8 years ago at 12:41 pm
    1. yesosarike

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      8 years ago at 3:04 pm
  3. StoryTeller

    Would like to see a hot take from Siblings about glorified OU getting smoked by never-respected Third Ward Coogs and what the polls will/should do about it

    8 years ago at 12:59 pm
      1. FavresDickPics

        Fuck you I lost my house because I bet my mortgage on the LSU game which you said was a sucker bet. Fuck you Siblings, you ruined my life.

        8 years ago at 10:01 pm