2017 College Football Week 9 Recap: Columbus Blues
5 major takeaways from the weekend
1. Is Evanston at 11 a.m. one of the weirdest home-field advantages in college football?
2. Raise tuition. Put a damn toll road on Alafaya. Plant evidence on UF having drug and hooker-fueled sacrificial rituals. I don’t care what needs to be done, you don’t let Coach Frost outside of Gemini Blvd unsupervised.
3. I’m all in on a Wisconsin Big 10 championship because I just want to see the world burn.
4. I guess going into a hostile environment and beating the (then) number two team in the country by two scores at their own house just doesn’t matter if it happened in week two. What resilience by Urban and J.T.!
5. I’m very much looking forward to going back to the Northeast for Christmas and seeing a sea of Notre Dame fans who couldn’t locate Indiana on a map.
And how about the culturally misunderstood potatoes?
Impressive stuff. That’s the kind of win that will poll vault (a pun for the folks keeping tabs at home) you in a meaningless midseason power rankings.
Speaking of which, the much awaited and often most controversial rankings known to man are finally being released this week. No, not the CFB playoff committee. The notable 9 from one insignificant frat blogger just hit the interwebs below.
1. Alabama
2. Georgia
3. Notre Dame
4. Clemson
5. Oklahoma State
6. Oklahoma
7. Alabama practice squad
8. Ohio State
9. Penn State
Might as well throw out a Heisman list while we’re at it
Frivilous Heisman Power 5
1. Saqoun Barkley
2. Bryce Love
3. Baker Mayfield
4. Josh Adams
5. J.T. Barrett 🙄
But can we give this bitch to Khalil Tate please? My man is the real-life version of how every single person would play NCAA Road To Glory mode. Just gaudy numbers offensive to all logic. Think Rich Rod regrets that opening week depth chart?
That said, Saquon Barkley finishes with Michigan State, Rutgers, Nebraska, and Maryland. Ample opportunity to pad those stats, separate himself from the pack, and run away with this thing.
But is Saqoun a closer?
Talk about not having the clutch gene. If he can’t deal with defenders in the backfield before he gets handed the ball how does he expect to make it at the next level with the Cleveland Browns? Bust!
As a man with the Penn State moneyline, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t already spending my winnings right at this exact point in the game.
But the gambling gods do not take kindly to premature celebrations. They will drop you on your head.
Alas, James Franklin refused to add any extra protection to a reeling o-line and J.T. “Never shown up for a big game in my life” Barrett carves up a highly questionable Nittany Lion defense.
You know someone who had absolutely no problem with the Buckeyes?
Nobody circles the wagons like the Oklahoma Sooners.
Nice try, nice effort, Tech.
I’ll never get the Baker Mayfield hate. This is the type of edge I want in my college signal caller: A guy that will rip your soul out and proudly wear it on his person for the world to see.
Smoking darts and breaking hearts. Bad boy life isn’t for everyone, but there’s a certain individual in Boca that is just toying with the rest of the country right now.
Hey Lane, I’m not sure whether you’re aware or not, but better things opened up a few hours north.
Just, for the love of all things good and right, stay away from Orlando.
I hear that Matt Campbell fella ain’t half bad, Gators.
Never quit on your dreams, kids.
Campbell will certainly get a steak dinner or two out of another program come January.
Around the rest of the country
AP Top 25
1. Alabama
2. Georgia
3. Ohio State
4. Wisconsin
5. Notre Dame
6. Clemson
7. Penn State
8. Oklahoma
9. Miami
10. TCU
11. Oklahoma State
12. Washington
13. Virginia Tech
14. Iowa State
15. UCF
16. Auburn
17. USC
18. Stanford
19. LSU
20. NC State
21. Mississippi State
22. Memphis
23. Arizona
24. Michigan State
25. Washington State
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I miss boosh
7 years ago at 4:33 pmGay
7 years ago at 9:43 amChip kelly to Florida
7 years ago at 5:09 pmGreat work Dan. This might be the best cfb recap on the entire internet. Needs more babes though.
7 years ago at 11:59 amJesus, Dan. I don’t know who wants to ride Baker’s cock more, you or Mia.
7 years ago at 12:52 pmI just got paid 6784 bucks working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over 9k buck her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do… www.Jobzon3.com
7 years ago at 1:42 pmOklahoma beat an Ohio State squad with a lot of first time starters almost two months ago. Compare how both have performed since then and tell me how you possibly think Oklahoma is the better team. Ohio State has been beating opponents by an average of 42 points and dominated Penn State more than the final score indicated (compare the team stats). Oklahoma, on the other hand, lost to Iowa State and beat the likes of 0-8 Baylor, 4-4 Texas, and 4-4 Kansas State by merely single digits. The Buckeyes are a vastly improved team since Week 2 while Oklahoma has stagnated.
7 years ago at 1:01 pmYou missed the beautiful interaction between UGA and Penn State’s barstool accounts. Definitely noteworthy for a column like this
7 years ago at 1:31 pm