22 Phrases We Need To Retire

Wally Bryton8 years ago

There are certain things we say that are as annoying as your new Philosophy lecture with that professor who has mandatory attendance. Here are 22 phrases we gotta stop saying as soon as humanly possible.

1. It’s lit, fam

No, it’s not.

2. Netflix and chill

It’s time to move on to Hulu and hang or Amazon Prime and 69.

3. “That’s so gay”

What is this, 2006? If you say this, just know that we all know you’re so deep in the closet you’re finding Christmas presents, Narnia, and your old Sega Genesis.

4. I can’t even

Yes you can, Becky.

5. The struggle is real

No, it’s not.

6. Squad goals

Squad goal: get people to stop saying squad goals.

7. Man bun

Honestly, we just need to get rid of man buns overall.

8. Low key

We high key say this too much now.

9. Relationship goals

We all know you’re never gonna find a boyfriend, Deborah. You have herpes and you banged the whole debate team last month.

10. Make America Great Again

When was America more great than it is now? When minorities and women had less rights? When it was okay to be a bigot? When Trump still had hair and didn’t have to wear that hilarious roadkill on his head?

11. #ImWithHer

For those of you who don’t know, “her” refers to Hillary Clinton. Why would you be with Hillary? Just because she’s a f____? Sorry, I tried to say female but the emale got deleted (I’m the first one to make that joke, I swear).

12. Harambe jokes

Just kidding, BUY TFM’S FUCKING HARAMBE T-SHIRTS, BITCHESSSSSS!

13. Trigger warning

TRIGGER WARNING: if opinions that aren’t exactly like yours are “triggering” to you, then please go fuck yourself because you’re a weak, hypersensitive dickbag.

14. Safe spaces

No more safe spaces. Stay here and get triggered.

15. Check your privilege

Ok, just checked it. Now what?

16. Turnt

Boy, you better “turn” your ass around and go home, you obnoxious douchebiscuit.

17. It sounds better on vinyl

Does an audiotape of you being murdered sound better on vinyl? Because that’s the record I wanna hear, you pretentious hipster asshat.

18. I like their old albums better

I like the old world better before you were born, Kyle.

19. I liked them before they were cool

I wanted to hit you in the nuts with a sledgehammer before it was cool. Wait no, that was always cool.

20. Eminem is washed up

There are 2 types of people. People who flipped the fuck out when they heard “Rap God” for the first time, and liars.

21. I only wear magnum condoms

Any dude that goes out of their way to say they have a big dick DEFINITELY has a small dick. We all know you’re only packing 3 inches on a good day. You’re not fooling anyone, Matthew.

22. Side chick

Just be a man and call her your mistress like back in the good ol’ days..