46 Halloween Costumes That Haven’t Been Made Slutty Yet
10 years ago

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As a kid, Halloween is about getting your squad together and hitting the streets to gather every last piece of candy in your neighborhood, and it was about fun costumes. Something happens to us when we turn 18-ish that takes this fun, innocent holiday from PG-13 to a scandalous NC-17. It’s now a day that girls use as an excuse to let their inner slut come out, and for guys to encourage and enjoy the show. You can’t just dress like a straight up slut, though, because that would make you actually slutty, but for some reason it’s cool to transform traditional costumes into slutty version of themselves.

The problem is so many untraditionally slutty costumes have already been made into slutty ones–slutty nurse, slutty cop, slutty cat, and so on. Try these out. I’m pretty sure they haven’t been used yet.

  1. Slutty Barack Obama.
  2. Slutty colander.
  3. Slutty milkshake.
  4. Slutty Ebola patient.
  5. Slutty ham and cheese sandwich.
  6. Slutty Jameis Winston.
  7. Slutty Mona Lisa.
  8. Slutty grandmother.
  9. Slutty fetus.
  10. Slutty telemarketer.
  11. Slutty try-hard.
  12. Slutty toothpaste.
  13. Slutty toothbrush.
  14. Slutty Pope.
  15. Slutty clipboard.
  16. Slutty Campus Title IX Coordinator.
  17. Slutty Vladimir Putin.
  18. Slutty earthworm.
  19. Slutty janitor.
  20. Slutty top half of a two-person horse costume.
  21. Slutty dinosaur.
  22. Slutty stadium security guard.
  23. Slutty Ebola virus.
  24. Slutty Jesus.
  25. Slutty iPhone 6.
  26. Slutty iPhone 6 Plus.
  27. Slutty offensive coordinator.
  28. Slutty guidance counselor.
  29. Slutty candelabra.
  30. Slutty gamer nerd.
  31. Slutty textbook.
  32. Slutty Bobby Shmurda.
  33. Slutty pot roast.
  34. Slutty bowl of queso.
  35. Slutty guacamole.
  36. Slutty hashtag.
  37. Slutty crab legs.
  38. Slutty Coach Spurrier visor.
  39. Slutty mittens.
  40. Slutty sweater vest.
  41. Slutty pumpkin spice latte.
  42. Slutty barista.
  43. Slutty Sperrys.
  44. Slutty Mario.
  45. Slutty Luigi.
  46. Slutty Ruger Dern.
  5. Shibby

    A Brief Story On How This Article Came To Be

    “Hey SFPL, I need an idea for an article.” Dorn yelled across the hall at Grandex. SFPL got on his rascal scooter and made his way over to dorn’s office. He stopped at the door as he was to obese to enter through normal entrances. He looked at Dorn sweat dripping down his fat face as he stared at the three day old pizza crust in Dorn’s trash bin.
    “Give me that pizza crust, Dorn, and I’ll give you an idea” SFPL blurted out. Dorn agreed and got out a pen and paper. “Just take 46 random verbs and put the word slutty in front of it for a shit article, and be sure to include some food items I’m trying to think of what to eat in the next five minutes. A one pound tub of queso should be enough. Right?”
    Dorn exclaimed, “Genius SFPL!” and looked sheepishly at SFPL with a grin and said, “Better make it a two pound tub of queso buddy, we know you like to eat…”

    10 years ago at 3:39 pm
    1. BlutarskyTFM

      Shibby, I think you’re a terrific dude, but I’m legitimately afraid you’ve made it this far in life without understanding what a verb is.

      10 years ago at 3:43 pm