27 Things Kanye Will Probably Do At The VMA’s This Year

Wally Bryton8 years ago

The MTV Video Music Awards are this Sunday, and Kanye West will be performing. MTV has given Yethe freedom to do whatever he pleases with 4 minutes of stage time. Four whole minutes to do whatever he wants, and they have no idea what he’ll do, it’ll be a surprise to everyone including them.

If there’s anything we know about Ye, it’s that he’s usually pretty unpredictable. His antics never fail to entertain (and they DEFINITELY never fail to piss off white people on the internet.) What will he do? We’ve gathered group of experts to give some educated estimations. Here are some of our (probably accurate) predictions on what will happen when Yeezus takes the stage that night.

1. He’ll perform a song or 2 from from his latest album “The Life Of Pablo.”
2. He’ll premiere some new music from his upcoming album.
3. He’ll do a steam of consciousness inspirational speech.
4. He’ll call himself the greatest and most influential artist of his generation.
5. He’ll compare himself to Shakespeare, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs.
6. He’ll claim that he invented oxygen.
7. He’ll claim that he’s the one who cured polio.
8. He’ll say he’s a god. And God himself will strike him with lightning for being blasphemous but Kanye will just dust himself off and brag about being the best lightning strike survivor of all-time.
9. He’ll eat the dead bodies of Prince and David Bowie to gain their powers.
10. He’ll jerk off into a plastic bag and auction off that bag to the highest bidder — which will be him.
11. He’ll announce that not only will he really be running for president in 2020, but that his Vice President will be Lindsay Lohan and his Secretary of State will be OJ Simpson.
12. He’ll finally announce that he’s actually a Sacha Baron Cohen character.
13. He’ll resurrect Harambe.
14. He’ll show us video proof that Taylor Swift shot Tupac.
15. He’ll read aloud at least 5 Clifford The Big Red Dog books.
16. He’ll murder your father. Yes, you, Brian. He’ll murder your father.
17. He’ll interrupt Michael Phelps to tell him that Beyonce is one the best swimmers of all time.
18. He’ll shave all his pubes and donate them to a charity of his choice.
19. He’ll divorce Kim K and publicly propose to Casey Anthony.
20. He’ll announce a collab rap album with the guy who shot John Lennon.
21. He’ll sell Kurt Cobain’s head on eBay.
22. He’ll finally admit that Insidious was better than The Conjuring.
23. He’ll give a powerpoint presentation showing that he drew a bunch of dicks on the Sistine Chapel.
24. He’ll announce his new NBC sitcom. It’ll be some good, wholesome and heartwarming family programming/XXX film series.
25. He’ll come forward as an alleged victim of Michael Jackson.
26. Him and Taylor might still have sex.
27. He’ll rob Ryan Lochte.
28. All of the above.

Image via Youtube