30 Alternative Names For The Washington Redskins
11 years ago

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After 82 years in the league, the Washington Redskins are doing the most ignorant thing possible–they’re insisting on keeping the name that no one complained about for decades.

That’s right, I’ll give you a moment to reel in from the shock. This politically correct bullshit is getting really old, and if all these “offensive” team names (also including the Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves, etc.) were REALLY causing damage to society, someone would have done something about them years and years ago. America is going soft and no one wants to solve the real problems, just the ones they can blame on someone else, but I digress.

An all out assault on the Redskins’ name has begun, and I like to prepare for worst case scenarios. That said, we should give the D.C. politicians lashing out against the name what they deserve and change the Redskins to something that really captures the essence of what the rest of America actually thinks about the nation’s capital.

Here are a few ideas:

  1. The Washington Bureaucrats
  2. The Washington Scandals
  3. The Washington Lost Emails
  4. The Washington Cover Ups
  5. The Washington Taxpayer-Funded Pension Plans
  6. The Washington Leeches
  7. The Washington Golf Trips
  8. The Washington Drones
  9. The Washington Tax Cheats
  10. The Washington Loopholes
  11. The Washington Mistresses
  12. The Washington Regulators
  13. The Washington Pork Barrels
  14. The Washington Teleprompters
  15. The Washington Liars
  16. The Washington Panderers
  17. The Washington Spenders
  18. The Washington Failures
  19. The Washington Spies
  20. The Washington Hackers
  21. The Washington Departments
  22. The Washington Lobbyists
  23. The Washington Hookers
  24. The Washington Hypocrites
  25. The Washington Snowdens
  26. The Washington Interns
  27. The Washington Payoffs
  28. The Washington Kickbacks
  29. The Washington Investigators
  30. The Washington Schmucks

Alternatively, if Dan Snyder really wants to piss off these time and money wasting politicians, he can just sell the team to some certified jackass and let him rename it as he pleases–hopefully to something unpopular. That may just ruffle a few feathers.

Image via Wikipedia Commons

    1. Upstanding Gentleman

      Now that they got DeSean Jackson, I’d vote for the Washington Philly-busters

      11 years ago at 5:19 pm
  6. the_alpha_Tau

    Just rename them the tribe, people can keep calling them the redskins, and be done with it.

    11 years ago at 1:58 pm
  9. BlackballThemAll

    No one complains about the Indians or the braves because they’re not slang/derogatory terms. Imagine if some teams were called the “Caucasians”, the “Anglo-Saxons” and then one was named the “white skins”. People would probably have more of an issue with the last one. Here come the laps.

    11 years ago at 2:02 pm
    1. Frattin_like_myDaddy

      With all due respect, and remember I’m saying with all due respect, that idea is not worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.

      11 years ago at 2:09 pm
    3. Danny Porush

      Except, white people have a list of about 500 things better to do with their time than worry about “offensive racism”

      11 years ago at 2:47 pm
    4. FratoBaggins

      Irish people could get offended by “The Fighting Irish”. But we’re not. Because it’s just the name of a sports team. And we have money to make.

      11 years ago at 1:47 am
  10. Frattin_like_myDaddy

    Making the name of a football team a bigger issue then the IRS targeting of conservatives. TOM. (Total Obama Move)

    11 years ago at 2:02 pm