30 Alternative Names For The Washington Redskins

5OClockShadow10 years ago

After 82 years in the league, the Washington Redskins are doing the most ignorant thing possible–they’re insisting on keeping the name that no one complained about for decades.

That’s right, I’ll give you a moment to reel in from the shock. This politically correct bullshit is getting really old, and if all these “offensive” team names (also including the Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves, etc.) were REALLY causing damage to society, someone would have done something about them years and years ago. America is going soft and no one wants to solve the real problems, just the ones they can blame on someone else, but I digress.

An all out assault on the Redskins’ name has begun, and I like to prepare for worst case scenarios. That said, we should give the D.C. politicians lashing out against the name what they deserve and change the Redskins to something that really captures the essence of what the rest of America actually thinks about the nation’s capital.

Here are a few ideas:

1. The Washington Bureaucrats
2. The Washington Scandals
3. The Washington Lost Emails
4. The Washington Cover Ups
5. The Washington Taxpayer-Funded Pension Plans
6. The Washington Leeches
7. The Washington Golf Trips
8. The Washington Drones
9. The Washington Tax Cheats
10. The Washington Loopholes
11. The Washington Mistresses
12. The Washington Regulators
13. The Washington Pork Barrels
14. The Washington Teleprompters
15. The Washington Liars
16. The Washington Panderers
17. The Washington Spenders
18. The Washington Failures
19. The Washington Spies
20. The Washington Hackers
21. The Washington Departments
22. The Washington Lobbyists
23. The Washington Hookers
24. The Washington Hypocrites
25. The Washington Snowdens
26. The Washington Interns
27. The Washington Payoffs
28. The Washington Kickbacks
29. The Washington Investigators
30. The Washington Schmucks

Alternatively, if Dan Snyder really wants to piss off these time and money wasting politicians, he can just sell the team to some certified jackass and let him rename it as he pleases–hopefully to something unpopular. That may just ruffle a few feathers.

Image via Wikipedia Commons