30 Excuses to Get Drunk
1. Obama (hopefully) only has 274 days left in office.
2. Finals week is coming up, and you can’t (shouldn’t) get drunk in the library.
3. Because almost everything in the world is more fun when you’re drunk.
4. It’s Monday, and another shitty week of school just started.
5. It’s Tuesday, and you’re still pretty far from the weekend.
6. It’s Wednesday, and you made it halfway through the week. You deserve a reward.
7. It’s Thursday, might as well start the weekend early.
8. It’s Friday, and you made it through another week.
9. It’s Saturday, and what the fuck else are you going to do?
10. It’s Sunday, and a new school/work week is about to start, might as well go out strong.
11. You won’t get judged for eating a whole pizza at 3AM.
12. If you’re going home for summer, this might be your last chance to rage for awhile.
13. There are still a few more sorority date functions you could get invited to.
14. If you’re a graduating senior, this is your last opportunity to breathe in the debauchery-filled dream we call fraternity life.
15. You have to practice so you’re in prime drinking form come Cinco de Mayo.
16. If you made it to all of your classes that day, you deserve a reward.
17. If you skipped all your classes that day, fuck it, might as well get hammered.
18. There are sober kids in Africa.
19. If you just got initiated, you can finally unleash the drunken asshole within without repercussions.
20. It’s raining outside.
21. It’s sunny outside.
22. Alcohol makes you more creative. Seriously.
23. Sunday is Earth Day, celebrate by not recycling your cans.
24. You got drunk last night, and there’s no reason to slow the blackout train down.
25. You didn’t get drunk last night, and you’ll be eternally labeled “pussy” if you stay in again.
26. You would hate for that open bottle of whiskey to spoil.
27. You just bombed a test.
28. You just aced a test.
29. It’s your second cousin’s boyfriend’s sister’s birthday.
30. Because you’re a freedom loving American.
Number 18
13 years ago at 1:16 pmThis was kind of lazy.
13 years ago at 1:40 pmI’m just wondering exactly how many lists there are going to be on this site in the next month.
13 years ago at 1:46 pmone hundred million lists
13 years ago at 3:10 pmLet’s start listing them and add another one.
13 years ago at 3:50 pmLet’s make a list of all the lists.
13 years ago at 12:45 pmCinco de Mayo. NF.
13 years ago at 2:05 pmAny excuse to drink is fratty my friend. If you missed this message, you may need to re-pledge.
13 years ago at 4:00 pmCelebrating another country’s holiday is NF. If you need an excuse to drink, how about because it’s another beautiful day in God’s country? ‘Merica!
13 years ago at 11:24 pmCelebrating other countries’ holidays harder than them. TFM.
13 years ago at 2:03 pmWhy did he just scream ‘Merica. It doesnt make any sense to me.
13 years ago at 8:29 am31. It’s VEISHEA.
13 years ago at 3:53 pmI nice moved this column as soon as I read number one.
13 years ago at 6:32 pmcool story, bro.
13 years ago at 7:59 pmI remember the first time I “nice moved” something.
13 years ago at 9:03 pm^ I don’t because I’m blacked out 24/7
13 years ago at 10:54 am^ do you party?
13 years ago at 1:44 am14 – made me Bubba-cry a little bit, I won’t lie.
13 years ago at 10:50 amTo bad the cover photo is not a real fraternity… chi phi rages sooo hard. NOT.
13 years ago at 2:00 pmToo bad you don’t know how to use “too.” Lace em up, champ.
13 years ago at 2:37 pmWhere can i get a funnel like that?
13 years ago at 3:30 pmAt the toilet store.
13 years ago at 6:35 pmBeing awake?
13 years ago at 3:31 pm