30 People Who Annoy You On Campus
12 years ago

30 People Who Annoy You On Campus

1. People eating vegan lunches in the quad who might as well just be eating the grass.

2. Over eager pro-lifers that shove pictures of dismembered fetuses in your face.

3. The cyclist who’s too cool for the bike lane.

4. Freshmen.

5. The obnoxious evangelical who likes to remind everyone that they’re going to hell.

6. The two fat friends who are as wide as any sidewalk in the continental United States.

7. The borderline psychotic professor mumbling to himself.

8. That asshole who takes the last open parking space in a 15-mile radius.

9. The kid sleeping in a homemade hammock by the library.

10. The 48 people in the plaza whose sole purpose is to hand you a worthless scrap of paper.

11. The girl who tweets instead of paying attention to where she’s walking.

12. High school kids on campus tours, minus the hot female freshmen to be.

13. The apartment complex marketing team that hands you free sunglasses that cost no more than two cents to make.

14. Bus drivers who seem hell-bent on playing chicken with every pedestrian.

15. Pedestrians who seem hell-bent on playing chicken with the busses.

16. People who use the same form of transportation as a mid-90’s middle schooler.

17. Pledges. I don’t care what house they’re in. Seeing them just pisses me off.

18. Bike cops and their complete inability to be taken seriously.

19. Kids who practice parkour.

20. Freshmen who still wear their orientation t-shirts to class.

21. People who try to drag you into a 30-minute survey on health food.

22. Flocks of shirtless guys running through campus to relive their cross-country glory days.

23. Every single participant of Humans vs. Zombies.

24. The GDI who wears a beanie when it’s 80 degrees outside.

25. The guy whose Beats headphones are so loud you can hear them 300 feet away.

26. Anyone who uses campus as a venue to play “sports” that weren’t even cool when you were eight.

27. The extremely out of place middle-aged person wearing a backpack.

28. People who act like picking a drink at a vending machine is a crucial life decision.

29. Professional “fraternities” who beg you to join their loosely organized club.

30. The batch of nerds who, through some miraculous feat of science, are able to play N64 in the quad on a daily basis.


  2. Fraternity Lifestyle

    Sorry, but if you can get N64 out on the quad, I’m going to respect you. Maybe not your clothing, lifestyle choices, geedyness, etc., but I will respect your dedication to what will always be known as “The Fun Machine”.

    12 years ago at 12:04 pm
  3. OneRowdyGentlemen

    I don’t about you grumpy old men trapped in 19+ year old bodies, but I got quite a few good chuckles reading this.

    12 years ago at 12:04 pm
  5. Dick_Pound

    1) GDI’s who put up that stupid rope between the trees and do “tight rope” walking.
    2) GDI’s or other fags who go to class barefoot. That shit is gay. Have some manners/hygene.
    3) Anyone wearing cargo shorts, hemp anything, or an over abundance of outdoor gear for no reason.
    4) Anyone playing hacky sack or frisbee. Fuck that.
    5) Any granola eater driving around in a Prius or Honda Element. Liberal pusswagons.

    12 years ago at 12:06 pm
  7. American

    #25 gets pissed off when you start jamming along with the song he’s listening to from the other side of the lecture hall. I thought the idea was to share your music with everyone when you play it that loud…

    12 years ago at 12:09 pm
  8. Tom Landry

    There’s nothing I hate worse than those Asian kids that walk with their heads down and bump into everybody on the way to class. Fuck those kids.

    12 years ago at 12:28 pm
    1. Frattios and sperrys

      No its worse when they travel in packs and don’t even attempt to assimilate into the American culture.

      12 years ago at 2:11 pm
    1. OMFratRebel

      ^This. Not to mention sorority girls stampeding you with requests to vote for their ugly ass friend.

      12 years ago at 1:50 pm
  11. OMFratRebel

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    12 years ago at 1:46 pm
    1. Skoal and Crossbones

      Try a little harder next time, champ. I don’t think you sufficiently proved that you’re in a fraternity.

      12 years ago at 2:41 pm