30 Reasons To Love Natural Breasts
1. They don’t feel like a pair of bocce balls under her shirt.
2. They look almost as good in clothes as they do out of them.
3. They respect the rules of gravity.
4. She’ll never have any of the medical complications that come with silicone knockers.
5. She didn’t have to pay to be sexy; she was born that way.
6. They don’t look like they’re trying to run away from each other.
7. She’s more likely to get away with going braless- one less step between her and naked.
8. In most cases, they’re more fun to play with.
9. If she’s the one, you could always just buy her fake boobs later.
10. Feeling a fake boob burst is every man’s nightmare.
11. They won’t look weird when she’s 40.
12. She won’t look like she’s about to tip over.
13. As they say, “The best things in life are free.”
14. It’s almost as if they were made to have your face placed between them.
15. She’ll look damn good in your t-shirt the next morning.
16. Natural cleavage is and always will be superior.
17. There’s a much lower chance of her being high-maintenance.
18. Even if they’re small, at least they match her body type.
19. Your mom is pretty much guaranteed to like her more.
20. Natural-breasted girls are way more fun to go on a jog with.
21. See also: trampolines.
22. Her nipples won’t remind you of a staring contest with your lazy eyed Aunt Bertha.
23. Real boobs are to Play-Dough as fake boobs are to cement.
24. They’re naturally more sensitive (read: she’ll like it more when you play with them).
25. Significantly lower chances of daddy issues.
26. No scars to speak of.
27. You’ll find comfort knowing she never spent $4000 solely to become an object of lust.
28. Nothings beats that bra unclasping moment when you let those suckers loose.
29. They make excellent pillows.
30. Which would you prefer- A hotdog nestled in a warm toasted bun, or a hotdog wedged between two softballs?
FIRST for the win!!!
11 years ago at 4:31 pm^This site has really gone downhill for you to be treated like this.
11 years ago at 1:39 amKinda like fake ones, next to daddy issues it is my favorite sign to know a girl is easy.
11 years ago at 4:32 pm“25. Significantly lower chances of daddy issues.”
Daddy issues make the world go round.
11 years ago at 4:32 pmsomething something list
11 years ago at 4:33 pmEven when you write a list about boobs, it sucks.
11 years ago at 4:33 pmI think the problem with this column is there are too many words and not enough pictures.
11 years ago at 8:44 pmEven if they were natural, I’d find it hard to love acorn titties.
11 years ago at 4:35 pmReally thought this was going to be an illustrated list. Fuck you SFPL
11 years ago at 4:35 pmunless she’s fat, then they’re gross
11 years ago at 4:40 pm29 is on point.
11 years ago at 4:42 pmThere are two sayings I’d like to apply here;
1. You can buy boobs you can’t buy a great ass
2. You can make more money by saying two words than you can in a lifetime, those words are “I do”.
If she can afford fake boobs by college she ain’t poor.
11 years ago at 4:43 pmActually you can buy ass implants. Lace up bitch.
11 years ago at 5:57 pm