33 Signs You Attend A Midwestern College
1. Your school’s basketball team is better than its football team.
2. If you don’t go to THE Ohio State University, you hate THE Ohio State University.
3. And refuse to say the “THE.”
4. “The U” refers to the University of Minnesota, not the University of Miami.
5. When you hear “Miami,” you think Ohio, not Florida.
6. Corn. Everywhere.
7. Fall is your favorite season.
8. Because of yoga pants and leggings.
9. You know what a “coastie” is.
10. The local old people are actually nice to you.
11. You know that spring semester should be renamed “Nope, it’s still winter” semester.
12. You frequently experience the bliss that is Culver’s and/or Portillo’s.
13. You rarely experience the bliss that is Chick-fil-a.
14. You wouldn’t be caught dead walking around campus during winter without your Bean Boots or Timberlands on.
15. It’s a lot easier to find a bar than a grocery store.
16. A lot of your friends are from Chicago suburbs.
17. A lot of your friends are really annoying about Chicago sports.
18. A lot of your friends are from the Twin Cities suburbs.
19. A lot of your friends don’t care about Minnesota sports.
20. Lake days > all other days.
21. More corn.
22. Your campus is overrun with North Face parkas on the first cold day of every fall semester.
23. You actually care about the Rose Bowl.
24. You’ve been to at least one of the following: Little 500, Mifflin Street Block Party, Freakfest, Unofficial, Veishea.
25. You know PCB is the only way to spring break.
26. You know how many teams are actually in the Big Ten Conference.
27. “It’s 12, right?”
28. Maybe you don’t know how many teams are in the Big Ten Conference.
29. Your friends who don’t go to school in the Midwest always want to come visit you.
30. You’re all about Kwik Trip.
31. Burnett’s.
32. Your school’s marching band is almost as entertaining as its football team.
33. Maize.
Spot on except for your forgot about Hamms beer
11 years ago at 9:52 amHamms and Grainbelt
11 years ago at 1:53 ampenn state, michigan and ohio state have better football teams
go bucks
11 years ago at 10:50 amtrying to maintain OSU’s dignity by leaving the huskers out of that list? The wound is still fresh I guess.
11 years ago at 7:23 pmthe huskers have a better basketball team than football team. what are you talking about?
11 years ago at 7:50 pmChicago Sports fans aren’t that annoying or arrogant, we’re just better than everyone else.
11 years ago at 12:41 pmYeah, you’re right. Hey, how did the Bear do in the playoffs?
11 years ago at 1:46 am*Bears. Lacing up.
11 years ago at 1:48 amlol please tell me you’re a fuckin’ Cubs fan
11 years ago at 5:45 pmThis list is spot on aside from the fact that you should have thrown Miami U’s Green Beer Day in the mix on #24.
11 years ago at 1:42 pmIt’s not that we don’t care about Minnesota sports, its that we don’t want to. We know that despite what it may seem like at the beginning of the season, the season won’t end in the playoffs.
11 years ago at 3:43 pm34. People from the suburbs around Chicago pretend they are from the city.
11 years ago at 1:56 pmI wanted to attest against at least one of these, but I really just can’t. Well done.
9 years ago at 12:49 pmSadly, Veisha no longer exists.
9 years ago at 12:03 pmIt’s QuikTrip, asshole
9 years ago at 12:05 pm