35 Reasons Why Being A Giant Is Awesome
If you are like most guys, you probably wouldn’t mind being an inch taller and having a bit more meat on your bones. Giant dudes simply aren’t like most guys.
- You played a sport in high school.
- You were probably good at that sport in high school.
- People always assume you played a sport in college.
- You played a sport in college.
- The amazed look on people’s faces when they ask you how tall you are never gets old.
- People look up to you. Literally.
- People naturally respect larger people, so they probably look up to you figuratively as well.
- Nobody fucks with you. Ever.
- If people fuck with you, they almost always end up in worse shape than yourself.
- Especially at the bar, where your buddies are bouncers.
- Cardio is easier, because, much like a Hummer uses more gas than a Prius, you burn more calories than smaller people.
- You can most likely bench/squat an impressive amount of weight.
- You have the unique ability to be impressively strong, but not necessarily ripped. It is otherwise known as “Bear-mode.”
- If you are ripped, then you look like fucking Hercules.
- You can drink more than the people around you.
- You can eat more than the people around you.
- Seriously, dieting means only eating an entire pizza.
- Your drunken fast food orders are beyond epic.
- Extra pounds from eating and drinking aren’t such a big deal when you are huge.
- You get shotgun by default.
- Women love tall dudes.
- Tall women love tall dudes. It’s simple science.
- You can easily pick up women. Literally.
- You appreciate a well-built woman with strong child-bearing hips.
- Her father likes you more than her little shit of an ex-boyfriend.
- You are content with the knowledge that if you marry a tall woman, you will presumably produce future Olympic gold medalists.
- Most everyone knows you, even if it’s just by “that huge dude.”
- You are highly visible on the dance floor.
- You are a surprisingly graceful dancer for your stature, but you still look goofy.
- You don’t give a shit about how goofy you look because you always have a great time.
- You can drive the ball a country mile.
- When looking at old photographs, you can always find yourself in the back row of whatever group you were in.
- You are always big spoon, and you’ve proudly accepted that fact.
- You drive a big vehicle.
- You probably have a great nickname.
Downside: It takes a lot more alcohol to get wasted. Alcohol costs money. As if being a student didn’t make you poor enough in the first place.
10 years ago at 11:54 amSolution: don’t be poor
10 years ago at 12:18 pmWell this was useless
10 years ago at 11:59 amIt’d be real cool if we could get some quality control on these.
10 years ago at 12:03 pmFireman carrying passed out brothers
10 years ago at 12:05 pmCool list, bro.
10 years ago at 12:14 pmWhere the fuck is fail Friday you shitstain?
10 years ago at 12:14 pmWrong person, champ.
10 years ago at 12:24 pm6’5, 240lbs solid. #21 & #22 will hopefully equal #26 for me.
10 years ago at 12:38 pmHold up. Lemme scroll up and check really quick.
10 years ago at 2:45 pmJust when I thought the lists had died…
10 years ago at 1:24 pmTell your son to start whoring around again. We’re all sick and tired of not hearing about his haphazard sexual exploits.
10 years ago at 1:44 pmFail Friday isn’t up, but this is?
10 years ago at 2:05 pmWhere the fuck is fail friday?
10 years ago at 2:14 pm