38 Reasons Every Guy Should Date A Sorority Girl

61024_1397457860357_1349550073_30994023_5172226_n

1. They’ve already got an amazing group of sisters. You’ll never feel like you’re the only thing in her life.

2. Two words: date functions.

3. She’ll help you fool your parents into thinking that you’re a functioning member of society.

4. When you screw up, there’s an entire house full of girls with ideas on how to fix it.

5. She won’t get (as) jealous when your house has a party with another sorority.

6. She’s just as excited for football season as you are.

7. Your shirts might not fit her correctly, but she’ll look damn good in them.

8. She’s the best thing that could ever happen to your t-shirt collection.

9. They might be freaks in the bedroom, but they’re still the classiest on campus.

10. They’re experts at putting up with you when you’re blackout drunk.

11. They’ll keep your pledges sane by being one of the few nice people in their lives.

12. She’s a perfect excuse to get randomly drunk off cheap gas station wine.

13. Friday brunch at a sorority house is one of nature’s greatest hangover cures.

14. She has over 100 girls to tell her if her dress makes her “look fat,” so she’ll never ask you.

15. There are few joys in the world greater than the shitshow that is a sorority formal.

16. You can learn firsthand just how terrible sorority rush is compared to ours.

17. She’ll be the best wingman your brothers could possibly have.

18. You’ll always have an excuse to eat at the nicer restaurants around town.

19. She won’t ask questions when you tell her you have a “brotherhood event” that night.

20. Your brothers will probably love her, mainly due to the hot friends she brings around.

21. They always know the key to your heart: cheap beer and whiskey.

22. If she blacks out, you’re guaranteed to have at least 25 sisters helping you take care of her.

23. She survived sorority rush; she’s the perfect person to get you out of any awkward situation.

24. You won’t be afraid to introduce her to your mother.

25. Sloppy drunken sex at the end of the night isn’t a goal. It’s an expectation.

26. You love the exact same bars for the exact same reasons.

27. She might take forever to get ready, but you know if push came to shove she could look perfect in 15 minutes.

28. Between your combined test banks there’s no way she won’t boost your GPA.

29. Chances are your friends are already close with hers.

30. She might not send you rush boobs, but she’ll be happy to find you a stand in.

31. After experiencing a night sleeping at your fraternity house she’ll never complain about your dirty room again.

32. She understands how much time and effort go into painting a cooler and won’t beg you to throw away the one your ex made you.

33. But she’ll be determined to make you a cooler that’s even better.

34. She can be friends with the girlfriends from other sororities (or at least pretend that she is).

35. You can count on her fear of standards to keep her from doing anything embarrassing on your date functions.

36. She planned her big/little reveal, so she’s obviously a pro at planning surprises for you.

37. She doesn’t want your mom to think you live in a pig sty, so she’ll gladly help you speed clean before parent weekend.

38. She’ll be a pain in the ass about getting your shit together, but you’ll end up a better man because of it.

***

  1. Uncle Sandusky

    Number one you should be, “She has scissors and knows how to use them.”

    11 years ago at 5:44 pm
  2. Fratt_Butler

    Looks like someone is trying to get laid after the idiotic fat model column.

    11 years ago at 6:10 pm
  3. notgreeksorry

    1. Non-sorority girls have plenty of friends to go to and don’t need to pay to be in a house to have other things going on in their lives.
    2. Because there if something doesn’t have greek letters attached to it, it wouldn’t be fun.
    3. I’d rather date an actual functioning member of society.
    4. When you screw up, she’ll bitch to all of her sorority sisters about how much of a douche you are and then they’ll all hate you and be super annoyed when she brings you around again.
    5. Other girls who trust their boyfriend would be fine with this as well.
    6. She’s excited to dress slutty to get drunk at the tailgate, not to watch football.
    7. …Non-sorority girls work out.
    8. Again, ^.
    9. I have too many reasons to list as to why I disagree with why sorority girls are the classiest on campus.
    10. Yeah sorry I’d prefer my boyfriend didn’t get blacked out and make me take care of him like some scummy frat guy. You got me on this one.
    11. Non-sorority girls are nice to your pledges too because they don’t give a shit about hazing someone in order to allow them to be their friend.
    12. Cute?
    13. So is sleeping.
    14. She’ll still ask you.
    15. Or any other party.
    16. Rush in general is fucking stupid.
    17. So could a great, non-sorority girl.
    18. So non-sorority girls aren’t deserving of nice dates…?
    19. Yeah because talking to your girlfriend is so annoying.
    20. Yeah because non-sorority girls don’t have attractive friends. And God forbid your friends would appreciate her and her friends’ personalities.
    21. Again, cute?
    22. HA, cept they all hate each other and probably would let you handle the whole shit show.
    23. Or she’s fucking stupid for not getting herself out of that situation in the first place.
    24. My parents HATE sorority girls.
    25. Wow, so classy. Again, classiest girls on campus? I don’t think so. Have some damn respect.
    26. Kewl!
    27. Or in 0.
    28. Because non-sorority girls don’t study.
    29. Because non-sorority girls don’t have guy friends.
    30. Don’t know what this is but I’m guessing it’s the opposite of classy.
    31. Classy………
    32/33. Wow so thoughtful of her!
    34. Or pretend. So classy. Not caddy at all.
    35. Or you could date a girl who just doesn’t do inappropriate, embarrassing things because she’s naturally a proper, classy lady.
    36. Omgawd there’s nothing more annoying than hearing about big/little reveals so I’m just gonna puke instead of describe why I hate this one.
    37. I help my boyfriend clean all the time. I’m just nice I guess.
    38. Yeah because non-sorority girls would be okay with dating someone who didn’t have their lives together.

    Also, not all sorority girls are straight. Sorry.

    11 years ago at 6:23 pm
    1. a_good_thing

      Do you want to have a one night stand that I will be ashamed of in the morning?

      11 years ago at 7:37 pm
    2. JackBauerTFM

      The fact that you created an account on TFM and spent time typing out that essay of a comment just to bitch about how much you hate Greek life proves how utterly pathetic you are. Fucking geed.

      11 years ago at 8:01 pm
    3. wearbowsdrinkwhiskey

      Why is this guy allowed to have an account this website? If you are so anti-greek why the fuck are you on this site?

      11 years ago at 8:37 pm
    4. CTKappa

      Someone’s a little bitter, now aren’t you sweetie? While your itemized list is truly adorable, some of your responses- which I’m sure you thought were real zingers- don’t actually make sense and just show what a worthless geed you are. Stop pretending to know what you’re talking about enough to hate it, and go back to pretending to ignore all the greeks you walk by while you secretly envy them, and they’ll keep on not noticing you. Amateur.

      11 years ago at 10:25 pm
    5. King_of_the_Mountain

      You should be fucking shot for even being on this site you ducking geed! You date non-sorority girls bc real srats don’t date geeds!!!

      11 years ago at 12:50 am
  4. Carlos Spicyweiner

    I have experienced a situation to contradict almost every single one of these nonsensical statements.

    11 years ago at 6:44 pm
  5. Sratrat_tastycat

    #38** I’d rather you be the pain in my ass because you’re pounding my shit… But I wouldn’t say that you’ll end up a better man because of it though.

    11 years ago at 8:27 pm
  6. Frato_Baggins

    “They’ll keep your pledges sane by being one of the few nice people in their lives.”- No. No they will not. Pledges deserve nothing.

    11 years ago at 8:27 pm
  7. bignasty

    You could have just saved some time and only posted #25, because that’s honestly the only legitimate reason to get into a relationship during college.

    11 years ago at 10:32 pm