40 Things GDIs Do That Piss Me Off
1. Ask 10 straight questions in the last five minutes of a double-block.
2. Offer me a free vegan lunch. If I wanted the nutritional equivalent of grass on the side of the road, I’d dig some up myself.
3. Think that sidewalks were made for bicycles.
4. Think that roads were made for bicycles.
5. Spell my name wrong on my Starbucks order. It isn’t that hard, even if you happen to be a moron.
6. Call it “tailgating” when they crush a few PBR tall boys in their opium den of a house before the game.
7. Complain about fraternity guys constantly, but still sit and wonder why they have no friends.
8. Act like they’ve never been drunk before (to be fair, I’m sure many of them haven’t).
9. Grow dreadlocks.
10. Pretend they’re Allen Iverson on the pickup basketball court, and miss every shot.
11. Spend an hour and thirty minutes doing 13 different forms of bench press.
12. Talk shit as they walk by, and speed away as soon as you notice them.
13. Blast shitty music from their cars to ruin everyone else’s pleasant day.
14. Try to hand me fliers, as if a flyer has ever changed anyone’s opinion on anything.
15. Drop out of fraternity rush because they “just don’t think they can handle the commitment.”
16. Say that all sorority girls are the same, when they’ve never actually had a conversation with one.
17. Use any form of transportation other than walking to get to class.
18. Every time they use the word “ironic.”
19. Wearing jerseys, t-shirts, or body paint to football games.
20. When GDI girls they think they’re some kind of special independent person because they didn’t join a sorority. Nope, just ugly.
21. Stand in extremely large herds of people in random spots on campus “just because.”
22. Act like I wouldn’t hit them if they tried their luck on the crosswalk.
23. Always manage to longboard past you with the most uncomfortably close maneuver possible.
24. Stare at the jumbotron during the alma-mater after a football victory because they never bothered to learn the words.
25. Bash Greeks every chance they get in the student newspaper.
26. Become TA’s before they’ve mastered the fine art of pronunciation in the English language.
27. Posses at least 8 empty pockets at any given time.
28. Allow Ed Hardy to be a successful businessman.
29. Make Nickelback more rich than most of us will ever be.
30. Play God-awful covers on the street that would make the original musicians turn over in their graves.
31. Mess up my 2AM drunk order of McDonalds. “I fucking swear I ordered a McFlurry.”
32. Sit at the front of the class, like the professor is about to start throwing out free candy.
33. Rally for Obama, but understand none of his policies.
34. Drum circles.
35. Smoke feminine cigarettes, everywhere and anywhere.
36. Think that their opinion actually matters for anything.
37. Try to convince people that their church youth group party Friday night “will be a really good time.”
38. Yell “shh” constantly at my table in the library. This isn’t elementary school.
39. Make out with their beluga-whale of a girlfriend in public.
40. Exist.
29 – richer* and Nickelback 4 LYFE!
12 years ago at 10:33 amCreed is better. They performed at our Bid day party
12 years ago at 5:34 pm^tell us more about your bid party please
12 years ago at 7:13 pmSorry excuse of a column.
12 years ago at 10:37 amFucking #3. so annoying
12 years ago at 10:49 amWhen I become a father, I will have my young boy go to a local university campus during typical class change hours and play by pulling a Big Daddy. My son will trip the fuck out of any GDI weaving between everyone on their bike, skateboard, longboard, or fucking gayass scooter. He will then laugh in their faces because they suck at everything.
12 years ago at 11:03 amhaha. New Pledge task!
12 years ago at 11:21 amThats a grand idea, this seems to be geed year of the scooter… had no clue they still made those two wheeled queermobiles until this school year.
12 years ago at 4:55 pmYour Starbucks order? What is this, TSM?
12 years ago at 11:10 am^
12 years ago at 12:12 pm^^
12 years ago at 12:34 pm^
12 years ago at 1:24 pmA fucking venti double chocolatey chip frappachino is not that hard to understand!
12 years ago at 4:13 pm^ Get out.
12 years ago at 4:33 pm^YMBNH
12 years ago at 4:45 pmORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINOS!!!
12 years ago at 5:35 pm^^^no one talks to chilis guy like that. YMBNH
12 years ago at 7:37 pm^YOUNG MONEY BITCH N*GGA HAYYYY
12 years ago at 8:53 pm33
12 years ago at 11:26 am^ Agreed. The other day some GDI fuck tried to tell me that under Obama the U.S. budget has a surplus.
12 years ago at 12:42 pm^^
12 years ago at 8:22 amRegarding #16: In their defense, sorority girls really are all the same.
12 years ago at 11:34 am^ agreed
12 years ago at 11:50 am^^ False there are brunettes and blonds.
12 years ago at 12:13 pm^
12 years ago at 12:19 pmDon’t forget the rare and endangered hot redhead.
12 years ago at 2:57 pmThose who are down for anal and those who need some persuading for anal.
12 years ago at 3:33 pmRegarding #20: Which one of us hasn’t banged non-sorority girls? Why would the fact that they’re not in a sorority stop us from having sex with them?
12 years ago at 3:37 pmYou don’t get the post slam, sorority shirt to wear back to your house.
12 years ago at 8:42 pmWearing Sperries with long socks and cargos is annoying as fuck too.
12 years ago at 12:10 pmthe burkinstock with socks is the worst though
12 years ago at 1:03 pmBirkenstocks are FAF when worn correctly though
12 years ago at 10:00 pmit’s an epidemic that NEEDS to STOP! I die a little inside every time I see it happen.
12 years ago at 1:02 amyou literally have to be so fucking frat to pull off a pair of Birkenstocks
12 years ago at 4:35 am#2… you mean get a pledge to dig some up for you
12 years ago at 12:13 pmWhy are you at Starbucks?
12 years ago at 12:25 pm