50 Best TFMs Of 2014

TFM Staff11 years ago

The 50 best TFM one-liners of 2014, chosen by you.

1. Starting fights that you couldn’t win on your own. TFM.
2. “As fuck” being your most commonly used unit of measurement. TFM.
3. Ignoring her Facebook friend request, yet adding her on Snapchat. TFM.
4. Realizing that the kid you kicked out of last night’s party sits next to you in lecture, then remembering you actually invited him to the house the previous class. TFM.
5. It being the pledges’ fault since 1855. TFM.
6. Suggesting that a bouncer “lawyer the fuck up” after denying your very fake ID. TFM.
7. Not having class on Fridays, even though you have class on Fridays. TFM.
8. The daily struggle of wanting a six-pack, and wanting a six-pack. TFM.
9. Actually paying for crab legs. TFM.
10. Donnie Azoff not understanding non-alcoholic beer. TFM.
11. Ricky Bobby living his entire life based on something his father said while under the influence. TFM.
12. Assuming your immune system is strong enough to beat Ebola because you survived living in a fraternity house for two years. TFM.
13. Lieutenant Dan being supremely confident in where to find shrimp despite having no previous knowledge of the shrimping industry. TFM.
14. Celebrating America’s birthday significantly harder than your own. TFM.
15. Alcohol giving you the ability to speak in cursive. TFM.
16. “That might have been me.” TFM.
17. When your professor addresses you as “frat guy in the back.” TFM.
18. Telling stories from pledging like a scarred war veteran. TFM.
19. Team USA returning from Brazil in time for the 4th of July. TFM.
20. Everything being more fun with a Hawaiian shirt on. TFM.
21. Having the confidence to go shirtless, but not the body. TFM.
22. Trusting your brothers with your life, but not with your sister or your alcohol. TFM.
23. Loudly announcing that you’re “heating up” in the middle of a test when you think you correctly answered two questions in a row. TFM.
24. Being great at unimportant shit. TFM.
25. Paying someone to write your Ethics paper. TFM.
26. Being great at talking to moms and police officers. TFM.
27. “Hazing is a great way to show a new employee that they are not welcome or liked.” -Dwight Schrute. TFM.
28. James Franco and Seth Rogen creating an international incident. TFM.
29. Changing your Tinder age preferences for Parents’ Weekend. TFM.
30. Telling your university’s star athlete that you also have a full ride, but it’s from your parents. TFM.
31. USA being ranked higher than Canada in NHL 15 despite losing to them in the Olympics. TFM.
32. The subtle change in walking pace to allow a girl with yoga pants to pass you. TFM.
33. Getting “not able to run for public office now” drunk. TFM.
34. A cop breaking up your party and realizing his daughter is in there. TFM.
35. Your parents still somehow being proud of you. TFM.
36. The United States having military bases all over the world, but not letting any other country have one on U.S. soil. TFM.
37. Not being a legacy, but starting one. TFM.
38. Team USA doing the bare minimum to qualify. TFM.
39. People either describing you as a gentleman or a dick, and nobody really being wrong. TFM.
40. Yelling, “Omaha!” every time you switch sex positions. TFM.
41. Budweiser asking everyone to “take the pledge” when driving home. TFM.
42. Asking a pledge to borrow his razor, using it, then returning it while having the exact same facial hair. TFM.
43. Liking your beer cheap and cold, and your whiskey expensive and old. TFM.
44. Making your worst decisions in your finest clothes. TFM.
45. Trying your best to look like a dad, while trying your hardest not to be one. TFM.
46. Taking the wrong lessons away from The Wolf Of Wall Street. TFM.
47. “Honestly, sir, I couldn’t make this up if I tried.” TFM.
48. Auburn’s ball boy running a 4.4 in khakis and a polo. TFM.
49. The guy in the AT&T commercial assuming the woman he’s speaking to isn’t a supervisor. TFM.
50. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s most likely Duck Pledge. TFM..