50 Ways To Stay Frat This Summer
1. Float trip.
2. Make your little brother your own personal pledge.
3. Get kicked out of a hometown bar by a former high school classmate.
4. Road trip to a city you’ve never been, drink to excess, make that city wish you never came.
5. Catch up on old Clint Eastwood and John Wayne movies.
6. Never have the knees covered.
7. It’s okay to slam hot hometown girls, even if they are GDI.
8. Never have the cooler out of reach.
9. Day drink often, summer classes aren’t an excuse to not day drink.
10. Lower your handicap.
11. Lower your standards. We all have to make sacrifices over the summer.
12. Post tons of pics from the 4th of July on people’s Facebook walls that are studying abroad.
13. If you’re studying abroad, celebrate the 4th of July to extreme excess. Asserting American dominance overseas is crucial.
14. Wear a shirt as little as possible.
15. Show up for the internship drunk, just like you do for class.
16. Get rung up at the liquor store by a former high school classmate. Act like you have no idea who they are.
17. Teach the frathound a new trick or two.
18. Enjoy a few beers with the old man. He deserves it.
19. Heckle the shit out of your least favorite baseball player.
20. Buy booze for the future fratstars of the neighborhood. But only the ones you would give a bid to.
21. Stock up on the fratwear.
22. Keep up with politics. We got a hell of an election coming up.
23. Scope out potential slams at the little sibling’s High School graduation.
24. College night at the ballpark. Tailgate like it’s a football Saturday.
25. Play around in the stock market if you haven’t already. It’s a buyer’s market.
26. Make an agreement with your hometown taxi company to start billing you.
27. Try a new beer every day.
28. Spend the night at the country club.
29. Refer to the cart cleaner as pledge.
30. Summer = Seersucker
31. Casual sex with the ex.
32. Grill everything.
33. Pregame for the 4th of July.
34. Recover from the 4th of July.
35. Lake Time.
36. Beer League Softball.
37. See if there are any new slams at your dad’s office.
38. Make sure your mom is teaching your little sister to cook.
39. For the sake of nostalgia, try to sneak a random slam up to the room without the parents finding out. If they do, oh well.
40. Don’t play any fucking video games unless it’s N64 or earlier.
41. Make sure everybody at the hometown bar knows you’re in a fraternity, even if they’ve never met you.
42. Get hammered at a high school baseball game.
43. Still in your college town = still in college. Lucky you.
44. Plan the football away game trips.
45. It’s okay to drink just because you’re bored.
46. Dream up new creative hazing techniques for the next Hell Week.
47. Spend no more than one day in depression over the fact that you are one year closer to graduating.
48. Have a couple casual beers on a patio for lunch. Don’t leave ’til the AM.
49. Convince a pledge to come sober drive you from a different zip code.
50. Kick off the summer the right way, go to TFM’s Day Rage. Tickets here.
(Huge thanks to my Twitter followers for helping me out with a few of these).
Follow me on Twitter @MizzouFratboy
Check out all the clever and shitty suggestions I received at #waystostayfrattythissummer
Would have liked to see Dave concerts or Country shows make the list.
12 years ago at 3:06 pmand This ^
12 years ago at 3:08 pmIsn’t that one of the cabins in Gatlinburg, Tennessee?
12 years ago at 3:10 pmNo idea, but is your name a HIMYM reference?
12 years ago at 6:14 pm^ Boardwalk Empire is what I’m guessing. How I Met Your Mother is gay.
12 years ago at 7:31 pm^ You are obviously new here, as it’s been long established that How I Met Your Mother, while maybe not the frattiest of shows, is clearly funny and acceptable to watch.
12 years ago at 7:47 pmI liked Barney, that’s it. Then I found out Neil Patrick Harris was gay. Bad show with ugly actresses.
12 years ago at 8:04 pmCome on dude, get with it. NPH, NF. Barney Stinson, FaF. Plus if you wouldn’t plant your American flag in Cobie Smulders anyday, you might be a homosexual.
12 years ago at 11:26 pmIt’s just a nickname, it’s not a reference to anything.
12 years ago at 1:53 amTom Cruise? How dare you.
12 years ago at 4:03 pmTheCommodore probably goes to Vanderbilt. If you still don’t understand his name then you’re not worth anyone’s time.
12 years ago at 2:56 am^Again, no. I said it’s a nickname. Not a reference to anything. I don’t go to Vandy.
12 years ago at 6:00 am^^ Nice try, freshman.
12 years ago at 8:37 pmStaying in Athens for the summer is about as good as it gets.
12 years ago at 3:36 pmWon’t be the best place to be on September 8th. I’ll be celebrating my first SEC victory.
12 years ago at 3:44 pm^Stop it, I’m blushing.
12 years ago at 3:48 pm^^ Good luck with that, champ.
12 years ago at 3:54 pmIs September 8th still summer?
12 years ago at 3:54 pmGot em^
12 years ago at 5:34 pmGotem <
12 years ago at 5:36 pm^ You sir, are a dumbass.
12 years ago at 5:38 pmIf Mizzou beats UGA, I will gladly eat one of my own Sperrys.
12 years ago at 11:46 pm^ this. If we lose any game this next year I will be in shock.
12 years ago at 9:04 am#25… probably not a fantastic idea… sell in May and go away, there’s gonna be a lull for about 6-8 weeks… probably a better idea to nab some capital, spend it at the beach, and go back to life in July, if you’re gonna lose money it might as well be on whiskey and waverunners
12 years ago at 4:25 pm^ This guy seems to be on to something. I however have three different proposals. First, there won’t be a lull if you watch the correct stocks, automotive, energy, and technology will do very well. It’s a good thing to stay away from oil right now. Therefore, I suggest that you keep stock in those, yet continue to go the lake and drink whiskey and fuck bitches (of only the highest quality) on your jetski. My other two points are not really worth sharing, so I won’t post those right now unless someone requests them.
12 years ago at 8:49 pm^ Holy shit, a serious superwayne comment. This is pretty much unheard of, so I’d like to go ahead and put in an order for those second two points.
12 years ago at 11:28 pm^^^ We take all of July off… worst time of the trading year next to the end of December and beginning of January.
PS: Equities are for pussies.
12 years ago at 11:35 pmMotion to change TSM to total stock move.
12 years ago at 11:00 amI’m jumpin out for a while, and you’re right, stay far away from oil for at least another couple months, the drop in prices isnt increased demand, its a political move whos bottom is going to drop out, I disagree about the recommendations though. Automotive shouldnt peak until early fall, energy will be rocked by the election in November unless you want a heart attack, and I’m staying far away from tech until the end of the year. Metal commodities are the only ones with a strong upside this quarter. Platinum and Palladium are about to be a huge deal, and Natural gas is gonna explode at the end of the year. But I’m gonna get pussy on a jet ski, drink good scotch, and maybe put some money in my properties instead of trusting the market for the next couple of months, and even if I’m wrong, I got a jet ski out of it.
12 years ago at 7:28 pm*supply, my bad, and I second FratEMT’s motion. It would be much more useful.
12 years ago at 7:30 pmStocks? What are you guys, 40? Get out and have fun, quit messing with all this serious bullshit #yolo
12 years ago at 4:25 amPlaying stocks when you know what you’re doing is fun and almost a hobby, and if you’re good at it you dont have to have a job like a fuckin geed. I can essentially live of my dividends while you keep asking mommy for money, and it’s a whole hell of a lot more than you make at a minimum wage job if you know what you’re doing. I usually get a 20% gain a year on a portfolio thats hovering around 50k right now, you do the math. It’s a nice padding to stay out and stay raging, and knowing good financial sense before you’re out of college is a lot more valuable than sitting around smoking and playing video games. So yeah, I’m pretty happy with spending some free time trading.
12 years ago at 6:46 pmThe Delta Sigma Phi’s at UNT shit on every other excuse of a fraternity there is, plain and simple.
12 years ago at 4:27 pmHence the name^
12 years ago at 4:41 pmIf you haven’t tried rule 25 yet, you should be castrated and sent north korea
12 years ago at 4:44 pmI was doing that shit at 16. That’s how I made my millions.
12 years ago at 8:42 pmI will still play Battlefield.
12 years ago at 5:45 pmAnd masturbate to that nip slip pic of Taylor Swift.
12 years ago at 8:43 pmWhere can I find said picture?
12 years ago at 2:11 am^
12 years ago at 9:47 pmTaking the bar exam. TFM.
12 years ago at 11:07 pmWhen did this site become a fucking DIY manual for fratting?
12 years ago at 12:22 am43
12 years ago at 12:26 am