56 Names You Could Give Your Package
If you haven’t named your penis, I’m not sure what’s wrong with you. Maybe you’re just an uncreative person who hates fun. Maybe you haven’t quite found that perfect name. Maybe you’re going back and forth because you’re not sure if you want to name just your schlong, or if you want an encompassing nickname for the whole package. Either way, here are a few ideas to help get you rolling.
- Ricky Wiggle and the Shootaround Boys
- Doctor Grouchsteel
- Rainbow Thunderclap III
- Billy Rope-a-Dope
- Old Hickory
- Peter Dinklage
- Sir Percival Bratwurst
- Meat McGreet
- Jordan and the Bulls
- Walter Rodstein
- The Nut Butler
- Fat Man and the Little Boys
- Dong Juan
- The Joyota Slamry
- Brad
- Jabba the Uncutt
- Mr. Knock-Knock
- Ken Stiffy, Jr.
- The Transcuntinental Railrod
- Urethra Franklin
- Hank Geyserton
- The Sperm Worm
- Santa’s Sleigh
- Chuck Boneroo
- Boompop
- His Holiness, Pipe Sextus
- Barry Beefstick
- The Honey Ham Zone
- Weenie the Pooh
- The Eye Dotter
- Mayor McSpeez
- Jizzly Bear
- Charlie Watkins and the Juicemen
- Professor SeXavior
- Marky Mark and the Spunky Bunch
- The Bone Phone
- Jimmy Spankwhistle
- Spewbacca
- DJ Jizzy Jeff and the Fresh Princes
- Space Shuttle Columbia
- The Vagina Rack
- Crosby, Stills, and Nash (I guess that makes Neil Young the asshole.)
- The Girthy Five-Layer Burrito
- Rammstein
- The Jive Turkey
- Pepé the Crying Clown
- The Chief of Staff
- Baron von Schlongerwiess
- Harry and the Hendersons
- Major Stiffy
- Slamson
- Spank Aaron
- The Hamburgler
- Sergeant Firestorm
- Roger Skinpole
- Trouser Bowser
Last name’s Shoup; call mine the Shouper Soaker (only 2 pumps required)
10 years ago at 10:41 amThe cream team
10 years ago at 10:42 amI personally find giving your penis a normal, white person name to be the best route, which then allows you to employ all these terms as simply references for genitals themselves.
10 years ago at 10:44 am“Let’s go back to my place so you can meet Steve”
10 years ago at 3:42 pmI seriously named my dick “Señor Grande”
10 years ago at 10:44 amI guess Señor Grande doesnt have many fans
10 years ago at 2:26 pmThis “article” is bad, and you should feel bad.
10 years ago at 10:54 amJockson pollock
10 years ago at 10:57 amThis is actually a list of every penis SFPL has had in his mouth, Cooper just took it off his desk and redacted
10 years ago at 11:00 am58. The Dorn Diddler
59. Bacon’s Im-Pale-er
60. Intern’s Mangina
61. Boulevard’s Jimmy Banger
The Scrotum-Pole
10 years ago at 11:05 amI don’t see the custard cannon anywhere on this list
10 years ago at 11:08 amAbraham Lincoln Poon Hunter
10 years ago at 11:08 am