87-Year-Old Joe Jackson Allegedly Popped Boner Pills, Partied With Big Breasted Women, And Had A Stroke
Let’s get the grim stuff out of the way first. Joe Jackson, the father of the Jackson 5, suffered a stroke and three heart attacks while in Brazil celebrating his birthday. That sucks, but he powered through and is still alive. The story of how Joe made it to that state is quite the story, however.
In honor of his birthday, Joe wanted to have a banger of a birthday bash that was estimated to cost around $200,000. Throwing $200k at your own birthday party means that you’re there to party hard, no matter how old you are. Unfortunately for Jackson, he never made it to the party because he was going hard the days before with a bunch of younger, big tittied Brazilian beauties.
According to the Daily Mail, things took a wrong turn when he started popping Viagra and drinking heavily.
As they visited a number of bars and restaurants, he is said to have mixed the local cocktail of caipirinha – made with Brazilian sugarcane rum – with other drinks.
But the ‘bigger problem’ was that he also had taken ‘three little blue pills’ for erectile dysfunction.
‘It was too much for him and he suffered a stroke,’ continued O Diario de Sao Paulo, adding that his entourage was left ‘shocked’ by the incident.
Joe Jackson suffered a stroke after 'taking three Viagras' in Brazil http://t.co/XRkCujj7rB pic.twitter.com/wqXOEwBzpx
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) August 5, 2015
How great is that? This dude is pushing 90 and still doesn’t give a fuck. It’s his goddamn birthday. If he wants to get obliterated, hang out with multiple girls wielding bazookas, and pop some boner pills to ensure that he pleasures said females, then he is going to do as he damn well pleases. You can’t knock the man for doing all this. He probably realizes he only has a few years left before the only action he’s getting is a sponge bath in a retirement home.
Not only did he miss his b-day party because of being in the hospital, he also requested that his party must go on. I’m sure the guests popped some pills and drank to excess in his honor. I imagine that’s what he would have wanted..
[via Daily Mail]
Image via YouTube
This is the kind of hard hitting news new common on TFM. I’d almost rather have another SFPL list
10 years ago at 11:19 amI think that’s a little excessive. Don’t put that evil upon yourself.
10 years ago at 11:23 amWhat we really need is for Bacon to get off his ass and right the Todd Storm/Frat Romance Novel crossover.
10 years ago at 11:35 amHe’s too busy sucking Bud Light’s dick.
10 years ago at 11:45 amHaving a gay ol’ time in Whatever, USA with the 30yr old alumni who just never left their college town.
10 years ago at 12:29 pmWhen has Ashton kutcher ever been frat?
10 years ago at 1:48 pmwhen he impregnated Mila Kunis
10 years ago at 2:54 pmHey guys completely unrelated, but in response to all the bitching about the lack of forums and black balling, I’ve been wondering instead of begging TFM for the forums back, why don’t we make our own forum site? Now I have zero knowledge of computers but surely at least one person here has the knowledge and ability to set up a basic forum site. TFM can never bring back a complete free speech forum due to advertisers, so it’s futile to keep asking them for them back. If anybody has any idea of how to make such a site lets get the ball rolling.
10 years ago at 11:41 amTLDR: let’s make our own fucking forum
There was one shortly after the forums were shut down, a lot of the older users went over to it. It was pretty funny, but I think it got shut down though.
10 years ago at 11:47 amWell it was called NewReux I believe (spelling?), we all threatened to leave TFM which primarily Bacon & Dorn laughed at. It was semi successful for some time before some Troll user could link peoples IP addresses with what they were posting on the Reux forums the owner of it quickly deleted the website to save face.
10 years ago at 2:15 pmThere was New Reaux and then there was dadbod. Both are down now. Although the dadbod domain is for sale
10 years ago at 7:59 pmRedPill’s already created a site. We’re working on creating a forum. Stay tuned.
10 years ago at 11:48 amI bet it sucks more balls then ur moms skunky pussy
Mexican immigrants >>> Your family and moms stank pussy
10 years ago at 11:14 pmHaving a super fucked up kid. TFM.
10 years ago at 11:56 amDue to his fucked up dad actually. As you can tell he is still going strong on his alcohol and drug fuel raging.
10 years ago at 2:29 pmWhy is this the only thing that has been posted on here all day? You can do better.
10 years ago at 11:59 amOT, but I’m having a lot of trouble refreshing the comments on the app. Anyone else?
10 years ago at 12:02 pmTends to stay blank half the time.
10 years ago at 12:32 pmWell it’s not blank for me but it’s still stuck at 3 comments, 3 likes.
10 years ago at 12:37 pmWhere were the big tits?
10 years ago at 12:26 pmI wonder what his night of drinking was like after Janet’s tit popped out at the Super Bowl.
10 years ago at 12:54 pmLol you’re fucking jelly that were about to go through pledging which is the best time you only want to experience once. Then we have 7 semesters to fucking live it up fuckboy. Meanwhile you are in your cubicle at office reading TFM articles and doing mock fantasy football drafts hating your job bringing in a solid income but wishing you could go back and relive those golden years
10 years ago at 1:47 pmthe fuck?
10 years ago at 2:17 pmsomebody blackball slap nuts here.
10 years ago at 4:50 pmTbh, Joe Jackson is a loser living off the wealth of his deceased son whom he beat severely and once said was, “worth more dead than alive.” Hope the next stroke kills him. Scum bag.
10 years ago at 1:55 pmJoe Jackson is a real life Blue…
10 years ago at 2:14 pmShut your fucking mouth.
10 years ago at 3:11 pm