Snoop Dogg Should Probably Have His Voting Privileges Revoked

Jumping on the train of all the other idiot liberal celebrities who like to endorse Democratic candidates blindly, Snoop Dogg took to his Instagram account yesterday to post a picture of a truly profound comparative list of reasons he is voting for Barack Obama instead of Mitt Romney. The picture was actually the creative genius of @DragonflyJonez, who Snoop Dogg associates with. His reasons were deep rooted in reason and political savvy, as are most other celebrities who try to win a popularity vote from uninformed voters for their geed candidate of choice.

Just kidding, Snoop Dogg posted the most idiotic, asinine reasons to vote for a candidate ever. What’s that about progress? Oh, I don’t know, because clearly Obama’s supporters haven’t made any.

His reasons against Mitt Romney, titled, “Why I’m not Voting for Mitt Romney.”

1) He is a white “nigga”

WHAT!?!

2) This “muthafucka’s” name is Mitt.

…and you call yourself Dragonfly. Moving on.

3) Bitch got a dancing horse.

That also supported the U.S.A. in the Olympics, so you’re anti-patriotic, and a prick.

4) He a ho.

Unclear.

5) He looks like he says “nigga” all the time.

No, actually, you’re clearly the one who fancies that word.

6) This “muthafucka’s” name is Mitt.

…we’ve already touched base on this.

7) He always interrupts and talks over people like he’s better than them. Bitch I will beat the shit out of you.

…oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you’ve had conversations with Mitt.

8 ) He’s a Mormon but he ain’t got no hoes.

Oh, I’m sorry the future president is a man of morals and upstanding character.

9) He reminds me of every boss I’ve ever had.

He reminds you of a Taco Bell manager?

10) This “muthafucka’s” name is Mitt.

…really?

And, the reasons to vote for Obama:

1) He a black nigga.

Well that was redundant.

2) He mad cool yo.

3) That nigga look like he can fight.

Actually, he doesn’t, because he’s a passive aggressive pussy.

4) He wears a durag like me.

That’s a reason I would NOT vote for someone.

5) Michelle got a fat ass.

…and Ann Romney is a SAINT.

6) He’s BFF’s with Jay-Z.

And Romney is BFF’s with people that have accomplished something other than a record deal.

7) He’s hugged Beyonce before and sniffed her neck.

…now this is just getting creepy.

8 ) We use the same hair clippers.

And Mitt and my father went to the same barber shop. I win!

9) He smokes Newports.

I’m not commenting.

10) I seen that nigga hook before and he got a jumper.

I can’t even…

I was before, but I’m pulling for you more than ever, R Money.

  1. Afrobro

    Since you work for a website that is rooted in sarcastic humor, I would’ve thought you would appreciate the sarcastic humor in the man’s reasoning. Damn, you are a try-hard.

    12 years ago at 2:09 pm
    1. Virginia Gentleman

      ^^^ While your comment may be logical, the disgraceful truth and unfortunate overlying issue is that the majority of African Americans probably agree with his perspective.

      12 years ago at 7:51 am
  2. LEGENwaitforitDARY

    Looks like someone’s mother drank during the first and second trimester, and then picked up the crack pipe for the entirety of the third semester. Now, I’d like to think that Snoop Dogg, or Dragonfly, or whatever the fuck your unoriginal cliche rapper name is, is just messing around when they say incomprehensible shit like this. But unfortunately, these are the actual reasons that they base their vote on. The only thing they care about is looks. I bet that at least 90% of the African American population don’t even know that MLK and the majority of the civil rights leaders of the 50s and 60s were republican. And I don’t know about you, but this freaks me the fuck out when I think of America’s future.

    12 years ago at 2:19 pm
    1. Denzel FRATington

      90% of Af-Americans voted for Bill Clinton as well. It’s based on party, not “looks.” Your comment was intellectually lazy.

      12 years ago at 2:38 pm
    2. LEGENwaitforitDARY

      I didn’t feel the need to address that because it was beyond blatantly obvious. I wasn’t referring to white on white elections like all the ones we’ve had until now. To clarify what I was attempting to get through is that had the 2008 election been something like the now republican Artur Davis (whom is African American) vs Harry Reid for instance, the election would have had a different outcome.

      12 years ago at 3:42 pm
    3. yourfavgeed

      (not you, but common theme on this board)-

      “mlk was republican”

      not this again.

      we all know the solid south went from dem to republican *after* mlk, lbj, etc. republicans in mlk’s days were not the same as today’s and you know that. the modern incarnation of the republican party formed after all the southern dems switched over to the gop following the civil rights legislation.

      you can’t go around saying “well, back in the day, democrats were the good party” when it’s convenient and you want to thump your chest out, and then go drop the “mlk was a republican! we’s not’s racist!” when it suits you.

      tl;dr- the fact the “civil rights leaders” were republican doesn’t mean shit.

      and i’m a fucking conservative/libertarian! but god almighty, stop lying to yourself.

      12 years ago at 4:28 pm
  3. Danny Devitbro

    Hoop, not hook. Hoop is another word for basketball. Jumper means jump shot. Use your context clues.

    12 years ago at 8:17 pm
  4. futureleader14

    For mitt romney, snoop spelled the n-word correctly, so I think he’s trying to imply that he’s racist.

    12 years ago at 10:24 pm
  5. Franzia_Butt

    This just proves that democrats lack the mental capacity to form a simple sentence. Fuck you Snoop Dog, you’re a worthless piece of shit and no one can ever take you seriously.

    12 years ago at 10:42 pm
    1. ButtpeeMcgee

      lol this guy reminds me of one of those annoying little kid that tries to copy their parents by taking bits and pieces of what they’ve said and using it to try to form a “statement”. hahaha your fist sentence just proves that you’re a try hard, and lack the mental capacity to function in normal society.

      12 years ago at 4:22 pm
    2. Al Capone

      Yes, because all Democrats are Dragonfly Jonez’ and Snoop Lion’s…you are fucking stupid Franzia_Butt. Stop trying so hard.

      12 years ago at 11:18 am
  6. McQueery

    You misspelled the n word in your analyzation of the fifth reason he won’t be voting for Romney.

    12 years ago at 9:51 am
  7. I follow DragonflyJonez on twitter. He’s funny; he likes white people. He did this as a joke. Anybody who thinks this site is funny, but got upset over this, is a moron.

    12 years ago at 1:45 pm