College Basketball Player Drops 138 Points

Jack Taylor, a sophomore guard at Division III Grinnell, scored 138 points in an absolute shellacking of Faith Baptist Bible (kinda surprised, I had Faith Baptist taking this one). The final score was 179-104.

Intermittent shouts of “Pass the fucking ball, Jack,” “Oh hey, Jack, why don’t you throw up another goddamn three-pointer,” and “Jack, fuck you. I’m wide open” could be clearly heard in the stands from the rest of the Grinnell Patriots sharing the floor with the D-III Kobe Bryant.

Taylor was 52-of-108 from the floor and drained 27-of-71 3-pointers. He added seven free throws on 10 attempts in 36 minutes.

He has 185 points through Grinnell’s first three games.

71 three-pointers? You serious, Jackie? You realize everyone hates you, right? For every one of your 25th through your 71st three-pointer, everyone wanted to just push you down and kick your ribs in, your teammates especially. You missed 44 three-pointers, man. That’s not okay.

Guess what, guys. Ready for me to blow your minds? Jack Taylor is a white dude. He’s caucasionally limited and weighs about as much as Bacon would after a full Vitamin S cycle.

Regardless of how his teammates view him right now, Jack Taylor is getting laid tonight, guys.

[Source]

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    1. Neds Older Brother

      ^Passing the ball or high school aren’t exactly high on their agenda.

      12 years ago at 2:25 am
  1. BrovWade

    Also don’t overlook Faith Baptist Bible star David Larson who went 34-44 dropping 70 on Grinnell.

    12 years ago at 11:02 pm
  2. The_ChiIis_Guy

    Awful percentage there. And scoring points in D3 is about as impressive as winning the special Olympics.

    12 years ago at 11:03 pm
    1. Dillon Cheverere

      Dumb. It’s impressive on any level. It’s not like ’92 Michael Jordan out there. He plays D-III for a reason.

      12 years ago at 11:53 pm
    2. Frat Blue Ribbon

      Impressive, but why is he only a sophomore when his bio says he was born in 1990? Total Retard Move

      12 years ago at 1:39 pm
  3. PissesInButts

    And Dorn produces yet another article that displays his inferiority to the people he mocks in them. Your writing is worse than Jack’s percentage from the key. Oh and we all hate you

    12 years ago at 11:09 pm
    1. PissesInButts

      Dorn, nobody likes you because: your columns are shitty, Bacon is better, your tweets suck cock, the Intern has a better twitter avatar, your columns are shitty, and you should kill yourself. That is all.

      12 years ago at 1:41 pm
    1. cleavage

      Im going to ejaculate into a water bottle for a month and ship it to that address.

      12 years ago at 6:13 pm
  4. AriGold9

    Why did their coach let them get embarrassed like that? Double or triple team the guy so he can’t even get the ball. You would still get killed, but it’s better than letting a guy drop 138 points on you.

    12 years ago at 12:44 am