Trojan Ranks The Top Ten Least Sexually Healthy Universities
Trojan Condoms released their annual report on the least sexually healthy universities in the United States, and there are a few surprises.
The report is not quite what it seems, though. Trojan does not base their rankings on which schools have more clap than a standing ovation. Rather, the condom company ranks the schools based on their sexual health resources. I wonder if this includes a metric measuring which student health centers have the most pictures of syphilitic genitalia? Here are the thirteen categories Trojan judges.
Too bad this is not actually a ranking of which school has the most STDs. I really wanted to live in a world in which Jimmer Fredette went Bill Henrickson on BYU’s campus and gave everyone herpes.
Without further ado, your ten least sexually healthy colleges:
If RGIII can’t play for your fantasy team this week you are well within your rights to assume that he has never been tested for an STD, and subsequently gonorrhea has eaten away at his ligaments unimpeded for the last three years.
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We haven’t been Troy State since, like, ’04.
12 years ago at 12:52 pmDOOONNNTTTTT CAAARRREEEE
12 years ago at 12:54 pmJudging by the “War Damn” in your name I’d assume you go to Auburn. You do realize you have the worst football program in the state, right?
12 years ago at 12:59 pmDude, you go to Troy….a Troy student talking trash about any school in Alabama is like a Downs’ sufferer calling someone stupid…
12 years ago at 1:56 pmMy point was Troy has a better football program. As for academics, the only thing Auburn is good for is forestry and vet school. Unless you’re in one of those fields, “success” is a very ironic username.
12 years ago at 2:09 pmI was of the understanding that Auburn actually had a real solid engineering program of some sort and I know for a fact their Greek life is the tits. But in all fairness to Mr. Ragers (and I hate your school, by the way), Troy probably would have whupped Auburn this season.
12 years ago at 2:13 pmAnd that was my point.
12 years ago at 2:24 pmWell no, Troy does not have a better “football program”. That’s just silly. They had a better year. And Mr.Ragers, I’m going to take a wild guess here and assume that Auburn grads do a bit better than Troy grads. And yes, AU has a damn good engineering and architecture program. And given the fact that I got into a few T-1 law schools, I think AU did pretty well by me. Best of luck with that Troy education.
12 years ago at 3:11 pmTell me, then, how does such a prominent law student find time to argue in the comments of a TFM news post?
12 years ago at 3:45 pmBoth schools deserve to be on the receiving end of a bukkake
12 years ago at 1:53 pmSuccess, in your third sentence when you say “They,” are you referring to the entire populace of Troy having a better year than Auburn? Or something more specific? Maybe some type of athletic program had a better year, such as the football program…
12 years ago at 9:00 pm^Damn dude you got him bad. Props.
Bottom Line: Troy is a Joke. Auburn is in the SEC with better academics greek life, athletics, three Heismen and two National Championships.
12 years ago at 11:59 pmReads like “The Most Religious Schools in the Country” list.
12 years ago at 12:55 pmSHUT THE FUCK UP, INTERN!
12 years ago at 1:06 pmIntern, give me a fucking good fail friday and then maybe I’ll let you talk
12 years ago at 1:10 pm^^ITB
12 years ago at 1:19 pm^JI
12 years ago at 2:46 pmITB you sons of bitches
12 years ago at 2:55 pmDepaul = NF GDI’s
12 years ago at 1:06 pmDePaul = biggest catholic school in the country… Sexual education isn’t really a priority when catholics unrealistically decide abstinence is the only option for college students.
12 years ago at 10:40 pmYeah I know right…quite ironic actually considering DePaul references institutions in its resources that actually perform or outsource abortions…so they’ll give out those names and numbers, but not condoms. Brilliant. I love it here, but Jesus Christ (irony intended)…come on! (pun also intended)
11 years ago at 9:16 am^ He is right. That’s why BYU is up there too, for religious purposes.
12 years ago at 6:12 pmYou can’t spend four years in Waco without catching the baylor bump with a side of mediocrity.
12 years ago at 1:29 pmHalf of these places are religious so they teach abstinence but this is America and we fuck a lot. The administration is better off teaching safety.
12 years ago at 2:05 pmBYU making this list as the overwhelming underdog is just one of those stories that warms your heart. Keep on, keepin’ on you crazy Mormons.
12 years ago at 2:22 pm^This was perfect my man, well done
12 years ago at 11:04 amAir force enrollment is over 80% male. Do we credit this unhealthy behavior to a slutty 20% or a homosexual 80%?
12 years ago at 3:46 pmI’d assume for the Airforce that it’s a slutty 20%…The latter of the two is reserved for the Naval Academy.
12 years ago at 11:45 pmThe nurses in the clinic strongly advise against screwing female cadets
12 years ago at 2:40 amBrigham Young? Those abstinent sluts
12 years ago at 8:51 pmAbstinent sluts…. hmmmm
12 years ago at 5:20 pmWhat’s the top ten?
12 years ago at 11:26 pmTroy is nastier than Steve Buscemi’s teeth.
12 years ago at 8:43 amYeah dude, they’re pretty fucking sick at football. Not even on UVA’s level though.
12 years ago at 8:46 amWell, I mean, that middle linebacker from a couple of years back was pretty damn good. He was the white guy with dreads that wore blackface, ended up going to the Falcons or something.
12 years ago at 8:59 amMatt Shaub
12 years ago at 3:59 am