20 Things We Do At The Fraternity House Which Are Frowned Upon At Home:

1. Eating/drinking everything straight out of the container.

2. Blowing off all responsibility in a moment’s notice just to go drink for no reason.

3. Getting blackout drunk on Monday and destroying everything between the front door and your bed when you’re ready to crash.

4. Stealing something from another room, and then making the owner take straight shots of bottom-shelf whiskey to get it back.

5. Referring to your younger siblings and cousins as “pledges,” and making them do manual labor in order to “build character.”

6. Throwing up on or in something, and leaving it uncleaned for days until you’re ready to admit that you’re the one who threw up.

7. Wearing clothes 2 or 3 or 9 times before washing them.

8. Hitting people whose name’s you can’t even remember with a paddle to teach them lessons.

9. Leaving trash everywhere but the trash can, and expecting someone else to pick it up.

10. Making the journey from the bed to the shower completely naked.

11. Starting the “USA” chant at your brother’s little league game.

12. Calling people you live with “fucking pussies.”

13. Using duct tape or “Fast and Easy” to fix everything.

14. Drinking an unhealthy amount of alcohol and demanding someone drives you to get fast food at 3:00am.

15. Throwing things out your window just to see whether or not they will break.

16. Burning whatever breaks in your backyard.

17. Speaking at a volume that is fit for a World War II firefight.

18. Using unprescribed Adderall to be productive and get things done.

19. Turning the entire house into a 9 hole golf course.

20. Blaming everything that goes wrong on liberals or pledges.

    1. National Fratpoon

      As ridiculously FRAT as it is…. how is number 11 relevant to a fraternity house? In any way?

      12 years ago at 10:28 pm
    1. fourtyone

      ^. And the guy pluralized “names” by adding an apostrophe… having the writing ability of a fifth grader, even though you’re a college graduate. FAF.

      12 years ago at 8:42 pm
    1. right or wrong

      i blame my rough childhood for everythang. Iz be why myz brainz is screwy the ghetto aint no place for a cracka likes me. I alzo sumtimez blamez my cwrack additdeds muthfer if shed puts down that stuff i might be witerate and smarts likes yiu guys.

      12 years ago at 12:05 am
  1. 6 28 1855

    I blame liberals for everything when I’m at home. Nothing about that is frowned upon. Terrible list.

    12 years ago at 3:23 pm
    1. USAamericaUSA

      Unfortunately some of us have step fathers who decided to vote for that primate they call a President.

      12 years ago at 1:06 pm
    1. Top_Gun

      ^^^ Don’t let your mom catch you sneaking that O’Douls into the shower now. That’s frowned upon.

      12 years ago at 5:37 pm
  2. Bows_and_Toes_Pussys

    This was fucking terrible maybe well all get lucky and you will catch yourself on fire when “burning” things in your back yard you FUCKING PUSSY

    12 years ago at 3:56 pm
  3. Jon M Fratsman

    Thought I should add that my parents would not find stripper parties in the living room to be an acceptable at-home activity.

    12 years ago at 4:25 pm
    1. Jon M Fratsman

      On the other hand though, if you have a brother who is also at or near college age and is someone you would actually consider cool enough to occasionally drink with, number 4 is completely acceptable.

      12 years ago at 4:27 pm