Minor League Baseball Team To Give Away Manti Te’o Girlfriend Bobbleheads

Dillon Cheverere12 years ago

The marketing director for the Florence Freedom in Northern Kentucky is about to rewrite the book on marketing. Guy’s a goddamn genius. The marketing game is changing, and this guy is leading the way. If you’re in the field and not yet slinging imaginary merch, you’re falling behind and close to being replaced by someone who can peddle fake shit all over the place.

From Channel 5 ABC:

The Florence Freedom, a Frontier League team in Northern Kentucky, will host Manti Te’o girlfriend bobblehead night. Each of the first 1,000 fans at the May 23 game will receive an empty box. Get it?

Here’s how the team describes it:

Yes Freedom fans, the boxes will be empty. But that’s where fan imagination can run wild and individual unique stories about what the bobblehead should really look like can begin.

‘This will be the best kind of bobblehead a fan could get,” Freedom General Manager Josh Anderson said. “Because now fans can make the bobblehead out to be whatever they want it to be.’

What does a thousand small, empty boxes run? Anyone? Thirty bones? Forty, tops? Hell, I have a Costco card. I can probably pick up ten thousand 6″ x 6″ x 6″ boxes for $15.25. That’s it; it’s time to expand and overhaul the entire Rowdy Gentleman operation. No more tanks and koozies. That stuff is costly. We need to tap into the fake merch business. Imagine the ceiling-less monetary potential of selling merch that doesn’t cost a dime or take up any warehouse space. Throw in the cheap cost of mailing weightless items and this thing could be a gold mine.

Major potential.

To add to the imaginary fun, section 115 will be blocked and reserved only for fans to sit with their imaginary friends, girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses. There will also be a make pretend kiss cam, air guitar contest and an imaginary food fight outside the Airheads Kids Zone.

It’s time to be totally honest here. This sounds like the greatest fucking time imaginable. Here’s my question, though: do you have to buy a ticket for your fake guest(s)? If not, I’m about to book a ticket to Kentucky and haggle with of a scalper for a ticket. I’m bringing all the imaginary people I know.

[H/T to @Mr_Gcock]
[via Channel 5 ABC]

Image via Sandra Rose