FAIL FRIDAY: Honey Boo Boo’s Virginity

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

I like poon like I like my steaks. Medium rare. TFM.
-Texas

I really hope that’s how you place an order at a fine steakhouse.

Shamelessly masturbating to a picture of your roommate’s girlfriend…and your roommate, that’s hanging on the wall. TFM.
-Arizona

Gotta get a nut somehow.

Taking your willy out and yelling “Big Willy Style!” at passing coeds as they move back into their dorms. TFM.
–Washington

They’re going to call you “Little Willy” in prison.

Hitting the squat rack a little early this year to prepare for Chubbies season. TFM.
-Georgia

That is easily the most latently homosexual thing I’ve ever heard.

Taking Honey Boo Boo’s virginity. TFM.
-Idaho

A dollar makes her holler, honey boo boo child.

Using a breathalyzer to make sure you are legally drunker than your female before intercourse. TFM.
-Washington

How very thoughtful of you, good sir.

Having to finish the job yourself the next morning because you’re TFTC. Too Frat Too Cum.
–Florida

“Why haven’t you finished?” “I’M TOO FRAT TO!”

Making sure that your frat tat is visible to the next stall during beer shits. TFM.
–Missouri

Just sliding your calf into the next stall, are you? Yeah, that’s totally normal.

Picketing GDIs’ funerals to let them know why they died. TFM.
-Alabama

That’s just not appropriate.

Stroking the big hairy frat cock while your high as fuck. TFM.
-Virginia

And with that, we’re onto the photos…


I guarantee they don’t “got the goods.”


Pretty sure this is the same hairdo Reagan rocked.


These guys probably KISS each other.


Those fucking horse heads terrify me for some reason.


A league of his own.


Zero varsity athletes in this group.


At least he has a friend to hold his head up against his cock.


All I’ll say is that’s not the straightest way to pass out.


Ray Charles could dress himself better than this guy.


Something tells me the guy on the right presses the buttons on his Xbox controller too hard.


Camo cargos. That is all.


If only their fathers could see them now.


You really have to zoom in to fully appreciate this. His face is priceless.


Is he wearing a cup? Must have brothers who are really into the aggressive tip-of-the-dick tap.


Not sure how this is possible, but she seems drunker than him.


So fratty.


That’s fucking interesting.


These are his construction cargos.


I’m being told this is at a Pike formal.


Dude on dude Jello wrestling? Alright.

Suburban Gangsters:


I don’t know, and I’m sorry you had to see that.

Chaser to wash away the bad:

Read a sample chapter from the TFM book HERE, and grab your copy at Amazon, B&N, or in the iBookstore.

    1. RJ Berger

      ^First of all, you’re not FAF. Second, I could tell before I read your name that you’re “african-american”….it’s supposed to be *your, moron.

      12 years ago at 2:56 am
  1. Serious About Boats

    Glad to see the intern quit jacking off to himself in the mirror and finally posted this fucking column.

    12 years ago at 5:08 pm
    1. You imply that the intern has an attractive stature, but I believe it to be quite the contrary in that the intern is a repugnant, insufferable little piss ant.

      12 years ago at 6:33 pm
  2. BamaForRomney

    “This” This if you think the new comments section SUCKS. JUST LIKE THE INTERN!

    12 years ago at 5:09 pm