The Fraternity Alphabet

A is for America, our country and pride,
B is for the bullshit we told girls when we lied.
C is for the cockiness we all seem to share,
D is for being far too drunk to care.
E is for easy like the girl from last night,
F is, of course, for fraternity fights.
G is for grand-littles, the youngest of sisters,
H is for obnoxiously hitting on strippers.
I the involvement we avoid til we can’t,
J for the jobs our connections will grant.
K is for Kate Upton, I don’t need to say why,
L is for living like we’ll never die.
M is for making the best of our years,
N is never leaving behind empty beers.
O is for open container, a law we ignore,
P for this pledge class, bows and toes on the floor.
Q is for quickly, the way that we drink,
R is for ramming our junk in the pink.
S is for something…I got drunk and forgot,
T is for taking one too many shots.
U is undoing a freshman’s bra strap,
V for the glorious victory lap.
W for whiskey, the gentleman’s booze,
X is for Xanax (if that’s what you choose).
Y is for yoga pants, a reason worth living,
Z is for zero, the amount of fucks that we’re giving.


  1. thuddy1855

    I was expecting this to be an article about the greek alphabet and a handy way for pledges to learn it.

    12 years ago at 4:47 pm
    1. ReaganBushBros4Life

      Fuck you man. No one gives a fuck about making things easier for pledges.

      12 years ago at 4:52 pm
    2. thuddy1855

      I see your very interested in becoming a brother. Why don’t you take a tour of our house rushee.

      12 years ago at 5:24 pm
  2. JoeBuckYourself

    You’d think that after realizing each column being dumber than the last SFPL would get the idea and….STOP WRITING YOUR DUMB FUCKING COLUMNS! DAMN IT!

    12 years ago at 4:50 pm
  3. SwearToDrunkImNotGod

    I didn’t even need to read who wrote this I knew from the first line this is some bullshit by SFPL

    12 years ago at 4:53 pm