Dubya’s Looking For A New Next Door Neighbor

Looks like Christmas has come eleven months early this year, or last year’s is one month late, depending on how you look at it:

For a millionaire searching for proximity to power, a new real estate listing in Dallas has all of the extravagant qualities that they may be looking for.

The mansion situated right next to the house of former President George W. Bush and former First Lady Laura Bush in one of the wealthiest suburbs of Dallas, Texas.

Feel free to take a moment and let that sink in. You, for the right price, could be living within shouting distance of the 43rd President of the United States of America, occasionally having backyard barbecues, drinking beers, and talking about how damn fine it is to own land.

Tom Hicks, former owner of the Dallas Stars and the Texas Rangers, and the owner of the mansion, has the home currently listed at $135 million. Hicks, whose $1.3 billion net worth was supposedly halved by the tough economy, claims that the mansion’s sale is not primarily motivated by financial reasons. Rather, real estate agent Douglas Newby explains that Hicks is selling the house due to a lack of need for a 42,496-square-foot mansion now that his six children are all grown up.

The asking price is far higher than the government estimates of the property, as the Dallas Central Appraisal District valued it at only $37 million.

Alright, so Hicks may be trying to get all he can out of the property to recoup some of his losses, but who can blame the guy? Also, his realtor says that the family just had extensive renovations completed that should add another $2,000 per square foot. Not like the realtor has anything to gain from selling the property at an inflated price. Oh wait, he has everything to gain, that’s his fucking job. But still, there’s not really any way that the Dallas Central Appraisal District can measure the monetary value of possibly being invited to Dubya’s ranch for a pool party every once in a while.

Designed back in 1939, the Crespi Estate is considered the largest estate property in the U.S. to be located so close to a major city. If you don’t have a problem with the fact that the major city is Dallas, this may be the place for you.

Here’s a video tour of the estate:

Actually, that is my single greatest conflict with the listing. Even if I had the necessary $135 million, I don’t know if I could go from being a lifelong Redskins fan to living in “Romo-Country.” But then again, as a red-blooded American, I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to watch an NFC East division championship with one of my all-time favorite Presidents, even if he has awful taste in professional football teams. Hell, who wouldn’t love to talk shit about the Cowboys to a man who once ran the free world? That’s just living the dream.

[via The Daily Mail]

Image via Bing

***

  1. Jon M Fratsman

    If you’ve ever wanted to hear what having the downs sounds like, watch the video. The guy is fucking hilarious and 100% full of shit.

    12 years ago at 11:58 am