Making TFM regret letting me name a character in the movie. TFM.

With Valentine’s day coming up, I have some advice for all you cheapskates who are going to cook for your slams.
Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
About a year ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I’m grilling grilled cheese. I didn’t notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn’t taste any worse. Last month, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my mother, I started thinking about my first love I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret. My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor – I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it’s essence wasn’t entirely a lie, I just didn’t specify it was my nut butter. I’m not about to outright lie to my mother. I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.