9th grade: While this chick and I we’re fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It’s alright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How ’bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it’s too cold. Girl: How ’bout warming it up…by rubbing it on my cunt? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I’m defiantly going to get off. That’s when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her cunt! with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her cunt!.I had seriously underestimated this cunt’s liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticeably freaked, but I did want to get off, and I didn’t want my load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I’M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don’t know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her and all over my face, chest, and groin. I had fruit punch on my mind so my body translated that into punching her in the face.
To this day, if I see a girl drinking Diet Coke, my body reflex is to punch them in the face.
In the foreseeable future if you could try putting Rub A535 on your dick and putting it in a girl’s ass, I would greatly appreciate the ensuing events.
Outstanding story however. I bet you don’t look at drink fountains in the same way anymore.
Catholics. NF. Wasps. FaF.
13 years ago at 1:57 pm^
13 years ago at 2:28 pmFred Phelps. TFTC.
13 years ago at 4:14 pmYou guys don’t love wasps like I do.
13 years ago at 6:13 pmWhy do you love stinging insects more than catholics? Aren’t y’all allergic?
13 years ago at 12:02 am^^
13 years ago at 8:34 am^^is a catholic.
13 years ago at 3:33 pmEndorsement.
13 years ago at 2:06 pmNo poop, no stools TSM
13 years ago at 2:06 pm^ My inner child laughed at your name.
12 years ago at 5:34 pmNot even the Pope could stand 4 more years of Obama
13 years ago at 2:21 pm^ fratcoon approves
13 years ago at 3:03 pmCongratulations, the pledge approves.
13 years ago at 3:11 pm^^no one cares
13 years ago at 9:58 amReligion is fucking stupid. It’s 2013. Wake up.
13 years ago at 3:36 pmYou’re stupid.
13 years ago at 3:54 pm^^ You deserve to be punched in the throat.
13 years ago at 4:39 pmIs that really your argument against religion? “It’s 2013”? Go fuck yourself you Godless prick.
13 years ago at 4:49 pmYou’re in god’s country boy, and we don’t take to kindly to your type ’round here
13 years ago at 5:18 pm^lol
13 years ago at 5:46 pm^^Learn how to capitalize the good Lord’s name you insufferable, aids trap.
13 years ago at 6:16 pmStill on your rebellious streak from high school, huh?
13 years ago at 8:17 pmDon’t be so touchy.
13 years ago at 9:15 pmReligion is a joke
13 years ago at 9:26 am^Youre a fucking joke, gayboy
13 years ago at 11:44 am^good burn, man
13 years ago at 2:53 pmFRATTYBASTA, do us a favor and blow a gun barrel
13 years ago at 8:09 pmPope? More like grope.
13 years ago at 3:45 pmThis^
13 years ago at 4:52 pmI don’t get it.
13 years ago at 5:02 pm^ This guy.
13 years ago at 5:20 pm^^One of the better names I’ve seen on this website.
13 years ago at 9:29 amThere hasn’t been this much rejoicing and unclenching in the children’s community since ol Sandusky went to jail.
13 years ago at 5:31 pm9th grade: While this chick and I we’re fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It’s alright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How ’bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it’s too cold. Girl: How ’bout warming it up…by rubbing it on my cunt? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I’m defiantly going to get off. That’s when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her cunt! with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her cunt!.I had seriously underestimated this cunt’s liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticeably freaked, but I did want to get off, and I didn’t want my load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I’M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don’t know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her and all over my face, chest, and groin. I had fruit punch on my mind so my body translated that into punching her in the face.
13 years ago at 10:37 pmTo this day, if I see a girl drinking Diet Coke, my body reflex is to punch them in the face.
Holy Christ, that was fucking awesome
13 years ago at 3:04 pm^^Diet Coke comes in 16.7 ounce bottles.
13 years ago at 3:34 pm^You’re an idiot for so many reasons. Maybe try reading it again, sport.
13 years ago at 4:34 pmCoke Zero tastes way better coming out of a snatch.
13 years ago at 9:17 pm^^^^^ I laughed, and I did it out loud.
12 years ago at 5:32 pmIn the foreseeable future if you could try putting Rub A535 on your dick and putting it in a girl’s ass, I would greatly appreciate the ensuing events.
Outstanding story however. I bet you don’t look at drink fountains in the same way anymore.
12 years ago at 9:02 pmTl;dr
12 years ago at 2:06 pmNF
13 years ago at 12:02 amCatholicism NF
13 years ago at 8:49 amCatholicism FaF. Without Catholicism, you probably wouldn’t have any other sect of Christianity.
13 years ago at 10:41 am