North Korea Makes Another Video Depicting Attack On U.S., Mostly Just Demonstrates North Korea’s Lack Of Video Editing Skills

In their latest slew of rhetoric and shit talking, North Korea has released a propaganda film that among other things shows a fictional attack on Washington D.C. In the video, missiles are shown hitting the White House, Capitol building, and an aircraft carrier. Scary stuff, for sure folks, but is it possible?

The short and simple answer is no. Part of what makes this video so funny is how it is edited. It shows artillery pieces or truck-mounted rocket systems (primitive, shittier versions of our MLRS) firing and then cuts to scenes of our most important buildings being destroyed. Maybe the North Koreans think their weapons have greater capabilities than they do (oh wait, they absolutely think that), but it seems to me that Washington D.C. is a little too far to hit with artillery fire. The rockets shown being fired are launched from what appears to be a B<-21 multiple rocket launcher. This weapons system, first used in 1964 by the Soviet Union, has since been modified, but is still considered obsolete by just about everybody. Now, I’m no military expert, but it seems to me that a weapons system that has an effective range of roughly 19 miles wouldn’t really be able to hit D.C. Like I said though, I’m no expert.

The best part about this video is the shitty editing. I mean, really, I was doing better shit with Final Cut in my 11th grade TV production class. Seriously, all the North Korean propaganda personnel did was take still images of U.S. buildings and equipment and then put a shittily-made explosion on top of it. I’m talking early 1980s C-movie Sci Fi shitty. I’m sorry, Kim Jong Un, but did you honestly think that would scare anyone? There is vintage Nazi propaganda more intimidating than this, and we already won that war. Porn has better editing than your government-funded films do. Hell, I’d wager more effort goes into editing a 45 second “This is TFM” video than went into North Korea’s latest attempt at raising their own national morale. Considering they can’t properly make a four minute YouTube video, how the fuck do they think they’re going to beat us in a war? At this point I’m assuming the first thirty minutes of that abominable Red Dawn remake starring Thor and the formerly fat Nickelodeon kid is playing on a loop for all three North Korean TV stations.

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyapeCiOl9A&feature=youtu.be

[via CNN]

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  1. cleavage

    I’m taking bets on a war with the U.S. vs. North Korea. Right now the line for total air superiority is at 6 hours and total unconditional surrender is at 2 weeks.

    12 years ago at 3:30 pm
    1. BroManChu

      I’ll place President Grant on air superiority in 5 hours. Give me Mr. Franklin on 10 days for unconditional surrender.

      12 years ago at 8:07 pm
    2. ChestertheMolester

      I wouldn’t underestimate the yellows boys, they might be technologically inferior to us but they have the numbers and the will to fight. Ill give a Ben on 4 hours on air superiority, 2 weeks of conventional warfare and 6 months guerilla fighting.

      12 years ago at 9:03 pm
    3. Ron Washington

      We’d have North Korea locked down within 30 minutes. The problem is two-fold. First is the risk of them invading South Korea. To prevent this would require us to have hundreds of thousands of troops on their little peninsula, something that would be a strategic mindfuck. Second, and more importantly, is the chinks thinking they have some obligation to protect their squinty-eyed commie friends.

      We will fucking annihilate them the second we figure out how to keep China out of it.

      12 years ago at 12:23 am
    4. Were Higher Than You

      In Operation Desert Storm we had surrender in a little more than 4 days. 25 years later I say we can bring that down to 3.

      12 years ago at 11:44 am
    5. Ron Washington

      I agree. The problem is getting those troops into position in a timely manner. If they were to launch an attack on S. Korea we’d really have to scramble

      12 years ago at 9:23 pm
    6. cleavage

      With our air power we could bomb the tits out of their supply lines and delay any formidable ground assault long enough to get the right personal on the ground.

      12 years ago at 10:23 pm
  2. The_JiffyLube_Guy

    Found this for those of you who don’t know how an engine works!!! My peener is pretty hard for this. engine gif photo: motor gif four-stroke-engine.gif

    12 years ago at 3:30 pm
    1. Tuco1855

      I actually thought the 4 clear and visible cylinders in the picture meant it was a 6 cylinder.

      12 years ago at 11:26 pm
  3. olemissreb4412

    I’m shaking. Maybe we should send Dennis Rodman back with some hookers to calm this mother fucker down a little bit.

    12 years ago at 3:34 pm
  4. wisebeta

    The fat fuck is likely just saber-rattling to get concessions from the sane/not shitty countries of the world.

    But, if shit hits the fan I say we bring back carpet bombing for this one. Maybe even reactivate one or more Iowa-class battleships (beautiful warships, by the way). Should my unit and many others get deployed to the Korean Peninsula, I’d rather the fast-movers bomb em into submission before the grunts, tread heads, and engineers mop up.

    12 years ago at 3:43 pm
    1. cleavage

      I think we should bring back the p-51s and B-17s. Hell lets bring back the 80 year old pilots as well. We would still have superiority.

      12 years ago at 4:41 pm