Mailbag: Is Summer Shandy An Acceptable Beer For A Man?

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It’s time for another edition of the not-yet-that-popular-but-gaining-serious-momentum feature known as the Mailbag, where I field questions from the seedy, scummy characters of the TFM community. This week’s question is about summer and beer, a couple topics I’m confident in saying that I’m pretty well-versed in. Beer is actually my go-to antidote to cure the summertime blues, and being a self-proclaimed mild-to-moderate beer snob, I’ve tried quite a few different cold ones in my life.

One of those is Leinenkugel’s summer seasonal, the Summer Shandy. A shandy, for those unaware, is a concoction of beer and lemonade, which, if you’re a self-respecting male member of society, should immediately raise a red flag. But is it okay to drink? I received an email asking me if the Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy was acceptable to drink during the summertime, and questioning whether or not you can drink it without turning in your man card.

The email:

Dorn,

Aight, so my friends and I have been having an intense debate for months now: is Summer Shandy a manly enough beer for fraternity men to drink? Some of my friends are convinced that it’s just Mike’s Hard in a nice button down while the rest of us insist that Summer Shandy is in fact the ultimate summer beer for the ultimate summer gentleman.

As far as manliness goes, I’m seeing the spectrum ranging from Skinny Girl Moscato (admittedly that’ll fuck you up) to Guinness with a stick of dynamite in it served by a flaming grizzly bear. The nay-sayers argue that the fine people of Leinenkugel took some beer and just poured lemonade into it before they bottle the puppy, thus creating the lazy man’s version of Mike’s Hard and thus a total pussy drink. Supporters of Summer Shandy on the other hand insist that the brewers expertly crafted an infusion of lemony essence with a fine alcoholic base, ending up in a refreshing and yet inebriating mixture fit for the gods.

I literally know nothing about brewing but I know you just pour some shit into some other shit to make a Shandy, so while the voices against Summer Shandy have a point, I think it’s totally unfair to assert that such a concoction is not manly. First off, Summer Shandy is much more full bodied than Mike’s Hard (more like Mike’s Soft, am I right?). Second, this is a Shandy, not some Malt Liquor bullshit. Finally, check that proud brave on the bottle’s label…so strong…so confident…so manly. I’m allowed to say brave right?

Anyway, I come to you, the guy who in the moment I perceive as the expert of all things manly and fraternal, in my time of need. Can I keep drinking Summer Shandy and continue my (intended) image as a chill ass bro, or must i throw out the fine brew in favor of something more manly?

Abide,
******* *******

Lot of words there, bro. A simple, “Can I drink Summer Shandy without looking like a bitch?” would’ve done just fine. Thanks for reaching out, though.

My Take

I almost always operate under the “If it makes you happy, go for it” school of thought, but within reason, of course. I mean, if tossing puppies into a raging river makes you happy, don’t go for it. Check yourself into a psych ward instead. But if something makes you happy, and it’s not societally and socially reprehensible, go for it and don’t worry what other people think. Caring too much about how your peers perceive you is the first step in becoming a try-hard, and we all know how everyone around here feels about those.

A dude who flaunts his two-incher around a locker room gets more bro props than the guy who rocks a hog but showers with his trunks on.

If you like the way Summer Shandy tastes, and admittedly it doesn’t taste as bad as it sounds, you drink the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck out of it. You have to own it, though. Shower in that shit if you want to. You will get judged, as you know, especially by the Bud and Miller purists you drink with, but if you own it, they’ll have no choice but to offer you at least a flicker of respect. You can get away with almost anything if you’re confident about it. A dude who flaunts his two-incher around a locker room gets more bro props than the guy who rocks a hog but showers with his trunks on.

Don’t even use a koozie. That’ll hide the label and give the appearance that you’re ashamed. Let it be known in front of God and everyone else that you like lemonade in your fucking beer, and you’re not about to give in to peer shame. Maybe even drop a little “fuck you” cocktail umbrella in there for some flair. You know, really show your boys what they’re up against.

***

  1. yukon_cornelius

    Dorn admitted to loving vodka sodas, so I hardly think his opinion is valid.

    11 years ago at 5:08 pm
    1. Jon M Fratsman

      I think the key is probably vodka that doesn’t taste as if it was distilled from the piss of a hobo in a Bulgarian back alley. Given, that’s all I tend to see in college, so I don’t have much perspective on it.

      11 years ago at 5:19 pm
    2. Dillon Cheverere

      Yeah, Tito’s is terrible.

      “Wine Enthusiast Magazine rated Tito’s handmade Vodka and awarded it a score of 95, an insanely high score for vodka. By contrast, other top shelf vodkas, Ketel One, Grey Goose, and Belvedere scored 89, 84, and 84, respectively, when rated by the same publication. They didn’t hold a candle to Tito’s.”

      11 years ago at 5:36 pm
    3. Pi Kappa Phrat

      Dammit Dorn, don’t let out the secret about Titos. It’s still cheap as hell around my parts.

      11 years ago at 6:57 pm
    4. Fratimal House

      ^^Tito’s secret has been out, at least for those who care about a decent vodka. I buy it wherever I can find it here in Illinois.

      11 years ago at 9:12 pm
    5. holeinon3

      “I think the key is probably vodka that doesn’t taste as if it was distilled from the piss of a hobo in a Bulgarian back alley.” Hilarious

      11 years ago at 7:47 pm
  2. Enraged TFM User

    I FUCKING HATE puppies! All they do is shit in the house and act like bitches. I’ll throw them into rivers if I want! Come at me peta!

    11 years ago at 5:08 pm
  3. CapstoneRager

    Summer Shandy sounds like a gay man’s drag queen name. The name alone warrants a “What the fuck are you drinking?” response.

    11 years ago at 5:11 pm
  4. commentsonwrongpost

    And I can finally release these backed-up squirmys. Thank you Bacon, the novel is so stimulating.

    11 years ago at 5:11 pm
    1. Mr. commentsonwrongpost,

      I want to be an executive too. I want to be an executive because I can pretend to be Greg Schiano on Madden and I pretend to be him when I’m at school. Please tell me what to do so I can be an executive.

      Thanks,
      Regards

      11 years ago at 8:23 pm
  5. Jon Taffer

    I don’t care what anyone says, Sam Adams Summer Ale with a lemon wedge is delicious.

    11 years ago at 5:12 pm
    1. BoozinCruizin

      Sam Adams is a year-round favorite. Seasonals and flavors just make it better. The old man enjoys the blackberry, but I can’t find it around here, damnit. Other Sam Adams favorites?

      11 years ago at 7:35 pm
    2. Steamboat Willy

      I tried the Sam Adams Porch Monkey once, but halfway through I realized I was just drinking a 40 of Olde English

      11 years ago at 1:50 am
  6. Rob Fox

    Summer Shandy is alright but whatever the regular Leinenkugel beer is called SUCKS. The first time it was given to me the guy trying to pass it off as a good beer said, “It tastes like Fruity Pebbles!” Yeah, a beer being fruity enough to please someone with a child’s tastes does not make it a good beer. It makes it a bitch beer.

    My favorite summer beer? Peroni. Light, crisp, refreshing, and beer flavored.

    11 years ago at 5:14 pm
    1. Rob Fox

      ^^^”Favorite summer beer” does not mean “only beer I drink.” Bud Light constitutes the vast majority of my beer drinking, throughout all seasons. But Peroni is my favorite warm weather beer.

      ^Sunset Wheat is awful.

      11 years ago at 5:25 pm
    2. SigmaFratty

      ^Landshark sucks more dick than Clay Aiken. IPA’s are the best summer beers.

      11 years ago at 6:02 pm
    3. tom green

      Regular lienie’s is lienie’s original. And every kind is awesome for the record.

      11 years ago at 6:44 pm
    4. GhostofKimball

      Yep, definitely heard the “fruity pebbles” line. When you describe any booze as “fruity,” I tend to stay away. Just don’t like the sweet stuff.

      11 years ago at 8:59 am
  7. Sleazy Asshole

    Dorn as an expert of all things manly and fraternal? Go get your head examined.

    11 years ago at 5:18 pm
  8. TheGrandfather

    Summer Shandy is only okay if you drink six or more at a time, any less and your manhood may be questioned.

    11 years ago at 5:26 pm
    1. Frat Golf

      Hardly. SS is the type of beer that gets worse with the more your drink, too much sugar.

      11 years ago at 5:35 pm
    2. The Prodigal

      ^^^Completely agree. Its kinda like smoking cigars. Smoke 1 and its relaxing, smoke 5 in a row and you’re gonna be smoking for hours straight and it will lose its novelty/recreational value.

      11 years ago at 2:29 am