Nick Saban Says He Doesn’t Know How To Text Message

Dillon Cheverere13 years ago

When you got it, you just got it. And The Nicktator’s got it.

The biggest paycheck among all college coaches, a badass lake house in Georgia, the fear and respect of his peers, a sock drawer full of crystal footballs, and the best recruiting sales pitch in the game — Nick Saban’s got it all going for him right now. When you’re dominating life at the level he is, you’re allowed to completely abandon really simple, totally useful and logical methods of communication.

During the SEC Media Days, Saban revealed that he not only doesn’t use text messaging, but that he doesn’t even know how, implying that he’s never sent a text message before in his life.

Unbelievable. Who else could get away with a pompous move like this? Communicating with high school recruits is a very important part of a coach’s job, and you’d think Nick Saban wouldn’t be an exception. Text messaging is how the kids talk to each other these days. You think Bret Bielema can afford to ignore text messages? You think Les Miles can get by sending emails to his junk folder? You think Hugh Freeze can get away with screening phone calls? No way, Jack. Saban can, though, and he does.

Blue Chip Recruit (Monday – 7:28pm): Coach, I’ve been talking it over with my family for a couple weeks now. I’ve decided to go ahead and commit to play football for the Crimson Tide!

Blue Chip Recruit (Monday – 7:30pm): My family and I couldn’t be more excited. I look forward to winning multiple national championships in Tuscaloosa, coach.

Blue Chip Recruit (Wednesday – 3:15pm): Coach? You get my last couple texts?

Blue Chip Recruit (Wednesday – 10:22pm): ???

Blue Chip Recruit (Thursday – 12:51am): You serious?

Blue Chip Recruit (Thursday – 1:01am): Da fuq?

Blue Chip Recruit (Friday – 7:45pm): Coach, I’m considering flipping to Auburn now.

Blue Chip Recruit (Sunday – 11:44am): Last chance.

Blue Chip Recruit (Monday – 2:11pm): I definitely just committed to Auburn.

Blue Chip Recruit (Friday – 3:08pm): Coach, I’m back on board with Bama if you’ll have me.

Saban. He can do it all.

[via Saturday Down South]