This Little Kid Who Threw Out A First Pitch At The Brewers Game Is A Badass, Deserves A Bid
13 years ago

This past Sunday at Miller Park, home of the Milwaukee Brewers (minus Ryan Braun), the organization hosted their annual family day. I’m not really sure what that entailed since most Sunday afternoon games are a family affair anyway. Maybe that meant the Brewers management asked the notoriously drunken Brewers fans to limit themselves to five Miller Lites and keep the environment a little more family friendly? Seems unlikely that anyone could keep a Wisconsiner from guzzling less than 5.5 Miller Lites in a single sitting.

___

Wife: (holding a small child) Honey, will you please just cool it? This is supposed to be a family day.

(*Husband finishes of his seventh Miller Lite*)

Husband: (extremely drunk) Oh what? I’m not part of this family? I can’t enjoy this day? It’s family day! I’m IN the family, so let me have fun and shut up! LET’S GO BRAUNIE! Where the fuck’s Braun?

Wife: (annoyed) He was suspended for using PEDs.

Husband: I didn’t know they had SportsCenter on Lifetime HAAAAAAAAAAAA! Is it Packer season yet?

Wife: This is what I deserve for getting knocked up in a port-a-potty at Octoberfest.

___

Whatever happened in the shitshow crowd aside, players and coaches were encouraged to bring their families, as well. As it happens, Brewers coach Johnny Narron invited his grandson to the ballpark, and the little guy (he can’t be older than 4) was given the honor of throwing out the first pitch. Unfortunately for the precocious tyke, Grandpa and his mom decided to condescendingly insist he throw from the grass in front of home plate instead of the mound. He wasn’t having it. He has dignity dammit! This is what happened.

Somebody in Madison reserve this kid a bid. Well done, sir. Plus, he out threw Carly Rae Jepsen, so there’s that.

[via MLB.com]

h/t to For The Win

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  4. Reaganomics

    Cargo shorts, JewFro, Brewers fan AND he didn’t reach the plate? Fuck this kid. Balled.

    13 years ago at 11:50 am
  8. GDI_Jihad

    Thank you for recognizing Madison as the only reputable school in Wisconsin. Marquette will try and convince you otherwise though.

    13 years ago at 11:58 am
    1. Roger Sterling Jr

      Try to*. It’s probably a good idea to avoid the state altogether if you’re looking to learn how to speak or write in English.

      13 years ago at 1:48 pm
    2. Alpha_Delta_Thighs

      ^No he can say it like that. It’s grammatically sound…..although that doesn’t mean the statement itself doesn’t deserve to be called out

      13 years ago at 3:16 pm
    3. Roger Sterling Jr

      ^The verb is “try to”. The word “and” is a conjunction.

      His statement is only grammatically sound if he is trying to say that Marquette does 2 separate things:
      1. Try (in this instance, we don’t know what they’re trying)
      2. Convince you otherwise

      His intent was not to say that Marquette does 2 separate things, specifically not to say that they try an unknown thing.

      13 years ago at 3:41 pm
    4. americanpie

      Marquette sororities are getting better…as for the fraternities….well…you know how it goes

      13 years ago at 7:35 pm
  9. this_fuckin_guy

    Insisting on pitching from the mound despite not being able to get close to the plate. TFM

    13 years ago at 12:04 pm
  11. M_Eagle

    I’m impressed by your WI knowledge. Good job on the Oktoberfest reference. Anyone who’s anyone knows Mifflin just ain’t what it used to be.

    13 years ago at 12:05 pm