Senator John McCain Appreciates Strippers

I’ve always been a pretty big fan of Senator John McCain. He is an utterly incredible human being. Sure, he didn’t run the best campaign in 2008, but he was an aviator in the United States Navy, was shot down over Vietnam, and held prisoner by the North Vietnamese in the notorious “Hanoi Hilton.” When offered to be paroled because of his father’s high-ranking position, he declined because his fellow prisoners would not be released with him. After leaving the Navy, he entered politics, eventually becoming one of the two United States Senators from Arizona. If you need another reason to like the man, I think I’ve found it.

John McCain loves strippers. I know it sounds ridiculous, but just hear me out.

There is currently legislation on Capitol Hill, known as the COINS Act, that aims to save the federal government money by eliminating the the one dollar bill in exchange for one dollar coins. Senator McCain is one of the co-sponsors of this bill. A reporter essentially asked McCain if this bill would cause economic woes for strippers.

When you think about it, the reporter’s question actually makes a good bit of sense. You can’t do with a coin what you can with a bill. You certainly can’t, as comedian Daniel Tosh calls it, “make it hail.” That’ll get you kicked out very quickly. I actually think I know a guy who tried it once. Sen. McCain, being the wise man that he is, understood this and responded, “Then I hope that they could obtain larger denominations.”

According to The Hill, the 76-year-old McCain started answering questions from another reporter before a smile spread across his face and he shouted down the hallway to The Hill, “Fives, tens, one hundreds!”

I really wish I’d seen this in person.

I’m not too keen on politics, but it seems to me that Senator John McCain is just doing what he does best: supporting small businesses and their employees. After all, you didn’t see any strip clubs getting bailouts, did you? They’re just out there trying to make a buck to pay their tuition anyway, right?

[via CNN Politics]

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  1. natty_splatties

    What I gained from this is he wants strippers to be tipped in larger bills, not singles. This doesn’t make sense.

    13 years ago at 8:27 am
  2. LambdaAlphaChi

    McCain fought for this great nation and I think its excellent that he supports the stripper community, but with some of his policies and viewpoints he might as well call himself a democrat.

    13 years ago at 8:33 am
    1. Enraged TFM User

      Republicans and Democrats ARE THE SAME FUCKING THING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!

      13 years ago at 9:06 am
    2. CollegeBallFraturday

      ^ Strong username to post correlation there. Chill out and butt-chug a beer for God’s sakes.

      13 years ago at 9:13 am
  3. Alotta_Fratgina

    The day I give a stripper a $5 bill is the day I switch to prostitution. It’s about getting the most “bang for your buck”

    13 years ago at 8:34 am
  4. CollegeBallFraturday

    If singles were replaced with coins, I’m pretty sure strippers aren’t going to give a shit…money is still money, and $1 = $1. Bring a few $5’s to tuck, and you’re good to roll.

    Just remember the snatch isn’t a slot machine fellas, and you won’t get kicked out.

    13 years ago at 8:34 am
  5. rockytop1

    McCain is a RINO and it’s time to retire. He can enjoy all the strippers he wants back in AZ.

    13 years ago at 8:34 am
    1. Frat Me Maybe

      John McCain is a neocon, statist f.aggot. He’s a disgrace to actual conservatives. Dude is looney tunes.

      13 years ago at 11:12 pm